don't read this post if contact lens talk makes you squicky

yesterday morning, after recovering from a full day of beer olympics (more on that later!) i stumbled into the bathroom to wash my face and throw my contacts in.

now, i've mention on more than one occasion just how blind i am. suffice to say, i cannot function without vision correction, to the point where i can't see the ground clearly enough not to step on a cat unless i have contacts in or glasses on. so i toddle over to the sink, take my right contact out of its case, squirt some saline into it, and pop it into my eye.

there's a pretty distinct feeling when a contact goes in, a sort of little "pop" sensation as it suctions on. i feel the "yup, it's on there!" sensation, and move on to the left contact. except.. hey. wait. i still can't see anything. that's weird; i was so sure i had gotten that contact in just fine.

i rub my eye, see if the contact needs to "settle," and blink a few times... nope. i can't see a thing. i smush my face right up next to the mirror to look at my eyeball - when your vision is bad enough, they tint the contacts a light blue color, so they're easier to locate against a sink or countertop, but it also means i can see the outline of the contact against the white of my eye if i get up super close - but i can't see anything there. i put my glasses back on and look around the countertop, the sink, the floor... there is no contact. weird.

i grab my box of new contacts and start taking out a fresh right one. i wander back into my room while i'm fumbling with box and start telling chris the story - how it's so weird, i thought i put a contact in, but i still couldn't see anything, so i guess i lost it? except i only get to the part about how i was still blind, when he interrupts me:

"hah! and you'd put my contacts in instead?"

i stopped mid-contact-box-opening, mouth agape.

"oh. i.... oh. hold on."

back in the bathroom, i put my fingers to my eye as if i were going to remove a contact.... and what do you know, out pops one.

turns out my vision is SO bad, the correction from chris's prescription didn't even make enough of a dent for me to notice i was wearing contacts.

if anyone needs me, i'll be shopping for a walking cane.