on wednesday i had my annual eye appointment to check on the ol' eyeballs and order up a new year's worth of contacts. i've mentioned before just how bad my eyes are (haha, i'd forgotten i wrote an ode to contacts back in that post. i kill me.) this year, i checked the little box saying i was interested in getting information on lasik.
i'm finally a contender, because my prescription hasn't changed substantially in about 3 years now. up until then, it changed.. um.. a lot. each year. i've got some BAD eyes, y'all. can't-see-the-floor bad. it's super fun. so lasik is basically the most amazing thing i can think of... if they decide i'm a viable candidate. i sent up a consultation with a lasik surgery place in a few week to find out.
there is a very real possibility that even if i'm a good candidate, they still won't be able to correct my vision all the way to 20/20 - maybe to like 20/200 or so. that would still be better than being blind, obviously, but i'm not sure that would actually be worth it for me. i'm lucky in that my vision can be 100% corrected with contacts, so the thought of spending about $5k on surgery - on my EYES, let's not forget, of which i have only two - just to continue wearing glasses or contacts for the rest of my life? not sure.
the other major problem i'm having is just in anticipation of the first consultation: i'm not allowed to wear contacts for two straight weeks leading up to the appointment. apparently contacts can put microscopic pressure on your corneas and actually kind of smoosh them a bit, and when talking about LASER SURGERY on your EYEBALLS we want the measurements to be accurate, HA HA, don't we? i heartily agree with this, in theory.
except here's the problem. i really, really, really, really hate wearing glasses. and not just for superficial reasons! (although those do exist. 9 long years of uber-geekdom during the formative years of your life will do that.) but honestly, i just can't function well in glasses. i can't see. the thought of driving around for 2 weeks in glasses terrifies me.
first off, there's the whole peripheral vision bit - anything not directly in front of me is totally out. like, wouldn't see a bear coming at me as long as he was doing it from the side.
then there's the whole curvature of the lense bit. the higher the prescription, the more curve the lense needs to have to correct it, right? and while i admire what sally jesse raphael did for glasses wearers in the 80s, i no longer want my glasses in that style, so the frames and lenses are much smaller. which means, unfortunately, that basically everything but a minute pin prick in the very center of each lense is part of the curved area of the lense... and i can't see clearly out of the curved areas. so i have this teeeeesy weeeee area of actual vision, and i have to make sure i turn my whole head in each direction to USE that area, because moving my eyeballs like a normal person just ends up with me trying to peer out of a blurry curved part. it's SUPER FUN. also super hot, in case anyone was wondering. DEAR MATCH.COM BOYS, COME AND GET IT! RAWR!
and - good gods - the thought of spending 2 weeks in front of a computer with glasses is honestly terrifying. i literally am not sure i can do it. i wish i could get the initial exam - just the one where they tell me whether they can work with me at all - without this no-contacts hoopla. two weeks of agony and squinting and low self-confidence and computer headaches seems like a lot to go through to be told my cornea is too thin for sugery anyway, but thanks so much for coming in! you know?
but then... my god. the thought of being able to fall asleep reading or watching a movie. of waking up in the middle of the night and not panicking when i grope around for my glasses and can't feel them.* of not having to leave a meeting with my eye streaming with tears due to an errant eyelash. the thought of waking up in the morning and being able to see.. well, anything. the alarm clock. my phone. the time. the tv. whether or not it was snowing out. yeah: that would probably be worth it.
*incidentally, the most frustrating thing, like, EVER? looking for your glasses. because all you can think is that you REALLY COULD USE your GLASSES right now in order to FIND THESE STUPID GLASSES, and then you realize how stupid and depressing that logic is, but OMG SERIOUSLY I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND GLASSES IF I DON'T HAVE ANY GLASSES etc etc ad nauseum.
Alice. Listen to me. YOU HAVE TO DO THE LASAH. It is SO the best thing ever. For reals. I was totally incapacitated without my glasses. And now I am FREEEE. I LURVE THE LASAH THE END.
ReplyDeleteMatt has the same problem. Poor guy can't see crap without his glasses or contact lenses.
ReplyDeleteI say definitely go see if you can do the surgery. A friend of mine did it a while back and she doesn't need glasses anymore. Feels SO MUCH better.
Here's to hoping those two weeks fly by!
I spit my coffee at the description of wanting your glasses to FIND your glasses! I do that like at least once a week.
ReplyDeleteeveryone I know who has had lasik surgery loves it. but this post reminds me that I need glasses desperately because when people at work are coming down the hall, their faces are a complete blur and I think they think I'm weird because I'm staring and walking toward them, trying to figure who who the heck they are.
ReplyDeleteOh I would so do it. my husband is also practically blind, and I'm trying to talk him into it.
ReplyDeleteOh, but didn't you just say that match.com slows down at this time of year. And if you didn't say it, let me tell you ... match slows down at this time of year. So, spend a couple painful weeks without contacts and hopefully it'll be worth it. I mean, at a minimum, you've got great blog fodder. Now, you best take a picture of you with glasses on or I won't be happy!
ReplyDeleteI'm going through the same thing right now. I actually went for a consultation (I'm a good candidate! I have extra-thick corneas!) but didn't blog about it because so far I don't have the guts to actually consider going for the surgery. The consultation is one thing but the surgery? Scares the crap out of me.
ReplyDeleteOk, I had lasik (or PRK actually) and it's honestly one of the best things I ever did. The two weeks of glasses was totally worth it to never wear them again. And to fall asleep naturally and see the clock when I wake up. I had a -12 perscription and now I have perfect vision. Think about it, especially if they can get you to 20/20. Email me if you want more details.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry - you can TOTALLY pull off a pair of eyeglasses and make it look alluring and sexy, especially if you know it is short-term. have fun with it!!
ReplyDeleteI never thought that joke was funny, the one with the punch line of "I've lost my glasses and I can't look for them until I find them."
ReplyDeleteLast year I couldn't wear my contacts for a few days when I got pinkeye, and I discovered that in glasses, I can't see the top of my head to comb my hear. How do I part my hair without contacts?
A few years ago the eye doctor asked me if I'd considered lasik, and mentioned that I could "probably find someone willing to do it" on my eyes, which holy hell does not make me want to run out and look for the one lunatic who will point a laser at my eyes for large amounts of $$.
Besides, everyone I know who's had it done loves it, but none of them had vision anywhere near as bad as mine. I'm too scared of it still.
It sounds like - despite how irritating wearing glasses for two weeks would be - that the surgery would SO be worth it... I think you should give it a go :)
ReplyDelete(Because naturally when you're writing up your pro's and cons list what a stranger on the internet thinks will be your first consideration!)
My brother went to Canada to get his done, back before they would do lasik in the US. He's incredibly glad he did it, but my mom thought he was being stupid and reckless.
ReplyDeleteI'm a wimp - I can't even imagine trying to put contacts in, because anything to do with eyes freaks me out. You cry, I see you, I cry. That's how it works. So I'd totally not be a candidate for contacts OR surgery.
I would do it. My friends who have had it swear by its perfection.
ReplyDeleteI want you to do it and test it out or me. Is that too much to ask of a new friend?
ReplyDeleteScary as it is, imagine being able to have peripheral vision that's useful after the surgery!
ReplyDeleteSounds like it would be worthwhile to me!
You would still have to wear glasses/contacts? I wouldn't do it...the whole surgery is WAY to scary for me to even fathom.
ReplyDeletetoo scary. Eesh.
ReplyDeleteI was going to write something about also wanting Lasik but feeling the heebie jeebies about MY EYES ... when my eyes fell out of my head. IS THAT TESSIE COMMENTING? OMG OMG OMG.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, I now have nothing and must look around for my eyes. Because the only thing worse than needing your glasses to find your glasses? Is needing your EYES TO SEE.
So remember how hard it was the first weeks you got contacts? I have pretty vivid memories of a sleepover at Char's house, and I wasn't even the one putting the contacts in, eeesh. That's how difficult I think going two weeks without them might be. I'd say, go for the consultation at least, but wait till after year end so you won't need to be at your computer so long.
ReplyDeleteAlice,
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and get the lasik. I insist. If you dont get it done, I will never speak too you again. This is how important it is.
Go...... go do it now.
I think you should do it. Or at least continue to pursue it and look into it. It's worth it in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI would love to get Lasik, but when I think about all those people on Extreme Makeover with the claw things holding their eyes open, I can't bring myself to do it.
ReplyDeleteWhat's really depressing? Looking for your glasses and they're on your face. That and stuffing kleenex in one's sweater sleeves like Mom used to do is depressing. . .
ReplyDelete