one week down, one to go

i've successfully made it through one week of glasses, now. well, if by "successfully" you mean "never caved and put in contacts," as opposed to "did so without complaining and whining every 45 seconds. oh, or SEEING." because, uh, then it wasn't so much a success at all.

one more week. one more week. one more week.

Annoying Things About Wearing Glasses (I Mean, In Addition To The Actual Wearing Part):

1) the inability to wear sunglasses. this is seriously an issue for me, especially while driving. i have upped my crows feet by like 800% this week.

2) apparently the glasses make me look OLD. i am typically carded when i buy or order alcohol about 95% of the time. since the glasses? i've had THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE not card me. in a week! you're supposed to card anyone who looks under 35 around here. i look like i'm in my LATE THIRTIES all of a sudden!? wtf!

3) the part of my ears where my glasses rest: SO SORE. possibly because my glasses are 238764 inches thick, due to the utter blindness thing. and also the fact that i haven't worn glasses for more than 10 minutes at a time since 1995.

3) this one is the dumbest, but omg, such a freaking problem, and one i never in a million years would have thought about. and dude, you ladies who wear glasses regularly (but are uber-blind without them, like me) need to give me some advice here, because i am STRUGGLING: putting on mascara is such a freaking sad slash hilarious exercise in futility. i mean obviously i can't put mascara on when my glasses are on, because, you know, the glasses are in the way. but i CANNOT SEE when the glasses are off. like, cannot see details of anything more than 2 inches away from my face, and even then i can only see LARGE details. so i end up leaning waaaaaay over my bathroom counter, with my face literally pressed up against the mirror, with one eye squinted shut (because when you're that close to something, you have to use one eye only, otherwise you go crosseyed. or else you see double because you're not far enough away for your brain to be able to compile the two images). so then:

a) it's hard to get enough room to move the mascara wand around, because let's not forget, your nose is literally smushed up against the mirror in an effort to see your own eye clearly enough to know where to stick the mascara wand, and

b) once one eye is done ("done" being a bit of a loose term here, because this is a highly annoying thing to try to do, and super frustrating that even that close, you still can't really see what you're doing) you have to wait until the one eye is completely and utterly dry before moving on to Eye 2, because otherwise when you squish Eye 1 shut to fend off the aforementioned crosseyed / double vision problem, your mascara will smear onto your skin. and, HA HA HA, the kicker is you WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE if it does or not because YOU ARE BLIND.

uh, if by "you" i mean "me."

hopefully my date tonight won't mind minimal, smudged eye make up. because that's definitely all he can hope for.