as everyone on twitter already knows, the lasik consult yesterday was pretty much anticlimactic. i went through about 30 minutes of various tests and scans and picture-takings of my eyeballs, including having them numbed so they could shoot some sort of shockwave through them (?) and having them probed by hand to test the surface cells, or something (??). then the very nice, very sweet doctor came in, shook my hand and introduced herself, and said "ok, let's take a look at your scans!"
then she made the kind of noise you make when you open up leftovers and find 2" of mold growing on them. you know, that sort of inhale-through-your-teeth noise? it's not a very optimistic noise.
"oh, wow. hmm. those aren't very thick corneas, are they."
then she perked back up and grabbed a calculator, and said she'd run some calculations to see if... maybe..? let's see... tap tap tap tap tap.... teeth inhale.
"eesh. um, yeah. ok, well, it doesn't look like there's any way this would work out. i'm really sorry."
so! struck from candidacy with 100% certainty in under 2 minutes. at least the decision is made for me, now, and i don't have to weigh the pros and cons of elective surgery blah blah blah.
oh, and it also means MY CONTACTS ARE BACK IN PRAISE THE LAWD JEEBUS. i wore sunglasses on my way to work this morning! and i can see everything, in every direction! it's GLOOOORIOUS!
a lot of people (including the doctor!) have offered me very sincere condolences that it won't work out, but really... i'm fine with it. i knew it was only a possibility for me, not a certainty, and i hadn't pinned my hopes on this in any way. i was going in for the consult and seeing it literally as that - learning IF this was a possibility, and if so, THEN i would start seriously thinking about whether i wanted it. so i'm not really sad, and i don't feel like something wonderful has been snatched away from me - it's more like i played the lottery and didn't win. it would have been seriously sweet if my number was called, but i wasn't EXPECTING to end up a millionaire after buying the ticket. and plus, even if you do win, then there are all sorts of complications with how to deal with the money and the taxes and relatives crawling out of the woodwork, and this analogy has probably gone as far as it needs to go now. the point is, people are feeling bad for me, and there's no reason to, because *i* don't feel bad for me. my contacts are lovely and work perfectly and cause me no eye issues and correct my vision 100%. and they are NOT MY GLASSES. :-)
the kite date guy and i are working on date #3 for tomorrow night. i find it so weird that it will be the first time he sees me without glasses. when i went to the ex's for the cookout on sunday, it was one of the only times he'd ever seen me WITH glasses, and we freaking dated. twice! i feel like i was wearing a disguise on these early dates, or something. this feels MUCH better.