July 03, 2012

perfect vision is for.. other people, i guess.

today was my annual eye doctor appointment, which is always a good time.

...for them, i mean. since they get all my money any time i so much as drive by their building.

as mentioned
many, many times before, i have poor vision.  like, have-to-hold-my-cellphone-2-inches-from-my-face-with-one-eye-closed-in-the-morning-to-see-what-time-it-is poor.  mostly this is a non-issue, since i wear contacts, and i'm SUPER LUCKY in that my eyes are perfectly content with this arrangement.  they give me no trouble whatsoever with a 24/7 contact-wearing existence, and i am very grateful for it.

(honestly, i think my eyes were probably just as traumatized as i was from The Dark Days of Glasses Wearing.  every part of my body chipped in to do their part so that
this never had to happen again.) 

but anyway! today's visit was fine: eyes are nice 'n' healthy, i ordered a (severely-overdue) new pair of glasses, and stocked up on contacts for the next year.  before the doctor started his exam, he asked if i had noticed any changes since the last exam.  i told him i thought my vision had deteriorated a touch, but nothing too serious.

after the exam, he agreed that yes, my eyes were a teensy bit worse than last time.

"i'm just going to keep you in this prescription, though," he added.

i gave him what i presume was a surprised look, because he then continued somewhat apologetically:

"ah, yeah. we'd have to go up two levels at this point if we go up at all."

(continued quizzical look from me)

"at your.. prescription.. they actually don't make lenses at each level any more, is the thing.  
we'd have to go up two levels. so if you can see decently well now, i'd prefer to just keep you there, instead of over-correcting by that much."

i see. so i already pay extra for my exam, because my eyes are so bad. i pay extra for my contacts, because the prescription is so high. i pay extra for my glasses - which can only have plastic rims - because they have to squish them down into something that will fit into frames (and even then only plastic ones can "handle" the resulting thickness). and now i learn they don't even MAKE CONTACTS IN MY PRESCRIPTION since once you're this blind.. meh. you can mostly see, right?  good enough.

i was joking with friends the other day that if i'd been born back before modern science, i would have been some sort of tribal shaman. you know, since i would have been effectively blind. so sure: perhaps they don't make contacts in my prescription. i still get contacts! #winning!



  1. I'm bookmarking this post, so I can read it the next time I complain about having to wear glasses at work. You know, to remind me I have it pretty good. BTW, the eye docs should be thanking you for giving them interesting, challenging work!

  2. I see. *snort*
    At least the eye doctor sounded apologetic about it all... or at least, you wrote him up to sound apologetic. Sheesh.

    Does this mean you haven't been able to read the temperatures and humidex or see the storm damage?

  3. I have a friend with vision this bad. She gave up on contacts long ago b/c she didn't really have a choice. She just recently got a pair that she is fairly certain were engineered by NASA and she's so happy just to have some sort of contacts. It's a real bummer.

  4. I'm also extremely, excruciatingly, expensively blind. I just got new glasses (which are also in plastic frames) and the lenses are thicker than the thick plastic frames even though they are the "thin" lens material. I'm going to be positively sightless by the time I'm 40. Also I have a weird nerve reaction where I faint every time someone touches my eyes (makes exams fun) so I can't have lasik. Winning.

  5. I *really* think you should reconsider those awesome glasses from your school days.

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  7. Weirdly, I've always wanted glasses, but am not allowed them, because I have perfect vision.

    As a kid I once attempted to fake a failed eye exam, but was thwarted by my fear of breaking the rules.