March 16, 2010

paintings of the pole: volume 3

so you all know how i had my pole graduation back in january, and that i sort of technically fell on my head, but it was still mostly ok. and how since i was pretty alarmed over how short my shorts were going to be for that performance, and how spandexy my shirt was going to be, i gave up alcohol and soda for a month to try and de-bloat ever so slightly before the spandex extravanganza.*

and then! graduation! it was lovely. and also meant i could drink again.

and then i didn't go to pole class for basically 2 entire months due to a scheduling snafu where our group got bumped out of our normal time slot. which means, in short, that i spent 2 straight months eating and drinking my face off, and doing absolutely bullcrap in terms of working out.

fast forward to last monday, when our new session started up. pole masters. which is what you take when you've gone through all 6 normal levels, and want to continue learning new ways to inflict bruises on your most intimate ladyparts by hanging off of poles in alarming fashions.

AND! because i'm a moron, and because our class got moved to 8 freaking 45 at night, i decided i'd drop into a level 3 class each week beforehand, because i needed something to do while i waited for 8:45 to come around. in other words, after 2 months of eating and drinking everything in sight - and not exercising - i subjected myself to 2.5 straight hours of intense pole workout. GREAT IDEA.

(by which i mean i can't move my shoulders omfg does anyone know a masseuse? i am not even kidding.)

(also i didn't realize how many calluses i'd developed over the past year. and then promptly lost in 2 months. except HA HA yes i do because of all the BLISTERS and SKIN LOSS and i'm very sorry if that's gross but seriously. literally hurts to type.)

anyway! so i'm at class monday night, where we learn this week's new trick, which as usual is pretty much insane and should not be tried by anyone in their right mind. it's called a pole handstand.

as people who saw my routine know, inverting is not actually a big deal. it consists of standing next to the pole, then throwing your legs up over your head and grabbing on with your ankles:


so with the pole handstand, you then maneuver yourself so you're fully upside down, then rearrange your legs, and...uh.. somehow finagle yourself into this:
my first reaction: riiiight. i guess i didn't try to hide my severe skepticism, since after she demonstrated the move our instructor did a real life point and laugh at me. except! here's the crazy thing! i actually DID this on monday night. usually it takes me 2 (..or 3 ...or 15) weeks before i learn whatever new wackadoodle trick they teach us. i'm pretty excited. which i guess means that this one is totally not as hard as it looks.

(also! the studio where i take classes is opening a new location in falls church - that's inside the beltway, kids! - this weekend. come check out some intro classes. you'll be hooked.)

*my gosh, how fun is "spandex extravaganza" to say!? i just keep saying it in a big boomy voice in my head. SPANDEX EXXXXXTRAAVAGAAAAANZA!!! or! SPANDEXTRAVAGANZAAA!!!

18 comments:

pseudostoops said...

Yeah, yeah, the tricks are crazy impressive and all but what really blows me away is how you are able to render these drawings in paint. I mean, DUDE. How do you do that?

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

By "scheduling" do you mean the 40 inches of snow you got that rendered your whole area useless? hahaha.

Glad you're back into a routine ... you're a better girl than I ... I'm not sure I'll ever be a pole dancing gal!

Pickles and Dimes said...

Your illustrations on these posts totally make my day. :)

Tess said...

OK, I really want to try a pole class, except for the...SKIN SCREECH factor! That just sounds HORRIFYING! Oh god oh god. Still, it seems so awesome.

Liebchen said...

I don't know if I'm more impressed with the pole trick or your illustrations.

Maybe both.

Inside the beltway, you say...

missris said...

I'm pretty much in awe. And yet, kind of intrigued...

K-Tee said...

you are so talented. i took pole dancing for a few months but could never lift my legs high enough to invert. (or even do a proper windmill...) it takes some mega strength! congrats on your new trick!

d e v a n said...

wow - great job! As usual, I am impressed with your drawings.

Jess said...

Do you really want a massage recommendation? Because I had an awesome massage before my wedding at a place in Adams Morgan. I can find the info if you want it.

Dmbosstone said...

Your drawings are great- but perhaps to save time you should invest in dolls. Would be comic gold.

BeckEye said...

Congrats on your graduation and learning ease. Perhaps you were a stripper in a past life? :)

Mike129 said...

I am once again in awe of your pole mastery.

And I am already TOTALLY hooked.

(Er, this is a spectator sport, right?)

Hillary said...

Henceforth, I will refer to you as Alice: Pole Master.

SLynnRo said...

Even though I'm far too shy to ever try this, I find this whole subject quite fascinating.

kcinnova said...

Your mad pole skillz amaze me even more than your computer cartoon skillz... and that's a lot!
My stomach muscles died 9-1/2 years ago (which is also the same time I gave up spandex for the comfort of those around me), so I am most definitely NOT a candidate. That doesn't stop me from being jealous of the eating and drinking spree. (Darn diet)

Suburban Sweetheart said...

I still can't fucking believe you DO this.

listedmal said...

Pole dancing is mega awesome! I definitely want to check that out...maybe not at your level though, I'd probably manage to give myself brain damage in the first 5 mins.

Sizzle said...

I'm just impressed that you can get up on the pole, period. I'm pretty flexible but I doubt I could do that!