pepper spray: YES PLEASE

so as many of you already know from my slightly histrionic tweets this morning, i learned today that i almost definitely had the pleasure of running into the east coast rapist twice over the past two weeks. i know! can you believe my luck? also: OMFG.

here's the whole story: two weeks ago, i got to my pole studio early for my 8:45pm class. our studio is in a suburban strip mall, essentially. here is a googlemap street view of NOT our actual location, but to give you the general sense.

it's the type of place that's bustling with business all day long, along a busyish road in a populated area, although the lot itself pretty much clears out after 8pm. when it is also, coincidentally, very dark outside.

so at about 8:15 two mondays ago, i'd pulled up outside my studio, sitting in my car and reading a book while i waited for the current class to finish. i was distracted momentarily by a guy walking in front of my car, along the sidewalk in front of our studio. i glanced up, then went back down to my book.

then looked back up, although i couldn't tell you why, except that something just didn't "feel right."

i watched this man, with a hoodie up over his head, walk directly to our studio (which doesn't even have a sign on it - it's new and still has the signage from the previous business up). he stopped at the front windows, cupped his hands around his face, and peered in. the windows are blacked out, so i don't imagine he could see much.. sorta pervy, but whatever, right? if i were a pervy guy and was walking along and happened to pass a pole dancing studio? i'd probably peek in. except after peering in, this guy turned around and walked back the way he came. which means he wasn't "passing by" and noticed the studio; he walked over to it - at night, in a dark parking lot, when nothing else was open - expressly to look inside.

i was staring pretty hard at him as he walked back in front of me. he stopped directly in front of my car, looked at me through the windshield, and waved. i didn't react, so he waved again and made a friendly motion as if he were going to come to the side of my car. i continued to stare stonily at him... so he walked away.

the next day, i was feeling bad about the situation. looking back on it, there was nothing expressly wrong this guy had done. except... MAN, my gut didn't like it. and really, who IS just wandering around a deserted strip mall at night? on foot? and knows exactly where a pole studio is and goes there to look in...? but i kept feeling guilty about assuming this guy was up to no good. he was black. was i secretly racist and didn't know it? did i just assume the worst because he was black? god, what was wrong with me? but i still just... didn't like it. i couldn't place why, but i just DIDN'T.

i should note here that i am normally pretty reckless in terms of my personal safety. i walk alone through the city at night. i walk home from the metro by myself. i don't carry any weapons. i feel that i make informed decisions and am careful not to make myself a target, but in general i don't get scared walking alone or assume most guys are out to harm me... which is why my strong fearful reaction to what amounts to a (failed!) peeking tom seemed weird to me.

fast forward to this monday night, when i'm back at the studio again. we finish up our class at 10pm, then four of us hung around chatting for another 20 minutes. i hugged my instructor and her friend goodbye and said i had to get home, so the other student and i left the two of them to close up. i hopped in my car and started to drive out of the parking lot... when i noticed a man in a hoodie walking through the lot, heading toward the studio that i had just pulled away from. i was already going slowly, but slowed down even more (since there was a dude walking in the road and all) and he flagged me down and motioned repeatedly that i turn around and go back toward the (completely deserted) back area of the lot, presumably with him.

i suddenly felt really, REALLY uneasy. i obviously did not blithely turn around and go with him, but... my instructor and the other girl were still at the studio. alone. and once again my gut was absolutely SCREAMING at me that something was Not OK Here.

i waited until i'd pulled past the guy and he kept walking, then i did pull my car around so i could see the front of the studio, where the two girls were just leaving. i still figured i was overreacting and there was no need to alarm anyone, so i would just stay and make sure i saw them both get into their cars. except then the man WALKED DIRECTLY TOWARD THEM, then stood under a tree and stared at them from over his shoulder. my instructor tensed up and looked very uncomfortable, and hurried to her car.

i waited until i saw they were both in their cars and pulling out, then i left and went home as well. i decided to tell our instructor the whole story next week at class, just so she knew.

except! i came into work today to a string of emails from folks at the studio. turns out my instructor had been seriously shaken by the incident as well - apparently her gut was freaking out too - and ended up calling the police tuesday morning. they asked her to describe the man, where she'd been, and what he'd done, and once she gave a complete report they told her that this serial rapist had been spotted several times in the area, and her description was exactly that of the man they were looking for. he'd attempted to subdue a woman walking her dog in a nearby neighborhood over that weekend, but she got away.

i know that it's still likely that it was just some dude being creepy. EXCEPT, you guys. i have NEVER felt that way before. i have never had someone's purportedly innocent presence make me that uncomfortable, ever. i have never had my stomach start twisting and my heart start racing when someone wasn't threatening me or making alarming moves toward me.

either way, i'm buying pepper spray tonight on the way home. and our instructor's (very large, very muscle-y) husband will be coming to oversee us leaving the studio from here on out.