July 21, 2015

It's been a while since I posted a nice embarrassing story about myself

Back in October, after a long and wonderful 12 years, I bid farewell to my much loved and faithful 2001 Honda Civic and bought a brand spanking new Honda CR-V.



I had been resisting the upgrade, because a) I loved my Honda, b) it had been completely paid off for years, and no car payment is niiiiice, and c) there was nothing *technically* wrong with it, despite the fact that it had earned the nickname "Hobo Wagon" due to its rapidly deteriorating aesthetic appearance.

And then I spun out across 4 lanes of traffic on a highway during rush hour. Which, you know, not exactly my car's fault, but did indicate I needed new tires... and I wasn't sure the value of the car was more than a full set of tires.

And then a piece of my car literally FELL OFF in a carwash.

The jig was up. I capitulated and let my civic go to the great car farm in the sky.

And I actually love my CR-V! It is a great little mini-SUV and I am super pleased with the upgrade. The only problem is it appears that about 1 out of every 5 people in this region felt the same way, because this car is evvvverrryyyywhere. Any time I look around me I can spot like 5 other CR-Vs within a 100 yard radius. Which, I mean, isn't really a PROBLEM per se.

Unless you are me! Naturally!

Yesterday I was coming out of a store and sauntered up to my car, which was sitting exactly where I'd left it in the parking lot, as it should be. I did the little remote clicky thing to unlock my doors when I was about 20 feet away (sidebar: HOW GREAT is that little remote clicky thing!!? I had a REALLY OLD car for a REALLY LONG time. The upgrades that, like, every other car now has? They continue to delight me on a daily basis!).

Anyway. I get to my car, open it up, and start to get in... when I notice some rags tucked under the seat. I could not for the life of me figure out what they were from or when they would have gotten there. I hadn't gotten the car washed recently... I definitely hadn't put them there myself... was it possible they'd been there since I bought it and they had just slipped out from under the seat now....?

And actually... why was there a glasses case in the cup holder? Covered in leopard print...?

OH MY SWEET JESUS THIS IS NOT MY CAR OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NOOOO

As panic started to rise with this realization, I went to quickly close the door and back away... but before I could even get the door shut a woman appeared next to me and cheerfully commented "I think that's my car!"

At this point I basically died on the spot. You are hearing this recap from my ghost, because I melted into the pavement from sheer mortification and ceased to be.

"I think your car is, like, three down from here," she continued kindly. "I totally thought yours was mine first, too!"

"q987hwf;m 8i7ey0kdn loiasueugyqe," I stammered, turning what I can only imagine was a truly impressive shade of magenta.

"We both have good taste in cars!" she joked.

"HAHAHA! YEAH! OH MAN, YOU MUST HAVE UNLOCKED YOUR CAR RIGHT AS I... HAHA OHMYGOD I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY SORRY SORRRYYYY OHMYGOD HAHAHAHAAAA ::awkward mule laugh::"

To sum up, it might be wise for me to slap some obnoxious bumper sticker or something on my car to make it stand out in a crowd.

10 comments:

  1. *cringe* Thank goodness she was totally nice about it! I would have been ten shades of red. LOL
    I'm sure this happens to lots of people though! (definitely get a bumper sticker. lol)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I also drive a Honda CR-V and love it. And that happened to me, too. Only I was on the phone with my lawyer regarding the car accident that forced me to abandon my Civic to the car farm in the sky and buy the CR-V. The universe is funny like that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! I've totally done that! I drove a super old Nissan Sentra for awhile and the driver's side lock was a bit wonky so I always had to jiggle the key when I opened it. One day in a parking lot it was being extra wonky but finally opened. I got in and sat down and realized it wasn't my car when I noticed the GIANT SCUBA TANK on the passenger seat. I freaked out!

    Congrats on the new car!

    ReplyDelete
  4. And on the plus side, I found I was much more fond of my new-to-me car when the bumper stickers went on. It was so much more "me"! And honestly, there are a ton of green Kia Souls out there, so it's nice to know at-a-glance (from behind, anyway) which one is mine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We have a mid-00's Jetta, just like everyone else in the greater Pittsburgh area. I have also walked up to a car (in the verrrrry crowded Target parking lot, no less) and full-on wrestled with the door handle before realizing that, um, it was not *my* car. Oops.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Omg that is hilarious. I've almost done that with our car since there are usually a bunch of Subarus around when we park somewhere. But then I notice Matt isn't with me and redirect myself. Glad she was so nice though!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so happy to know I am not alone in the universe. You know how many silver Toyota Matrix's there are?? A lot. And, I've seen the inside of two that were not mine by accident. Those people were lucky I didn't steal the money in their middle console. They should also stop leaving their cars unlocked and money in the middle console.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank goodness she was nice about it! There are only a few key combos for each type of car so it's actually not that surprising that this happened to you. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Add racing stripes? Big, shiny, colorful ones!?! AND GLITTER!!! MAKE YOUR CAR SHINY AND STRIPEY AND SPARKLY AND THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!

    I bet Amazon and/or Etsy has a number of solutions to help you along in this process. :)

    xox

    ReplyDelete
  10. ROTFL
    I've wondered why my clicky-thingy did not open my car a few times... until it became painfully obvious that it wasn't my car at all.
    This from the woman who has multiple do-dads on her car to help her identify it from all others (front AND back).

    ReplyDelete