August 09, 2011

i'm on a horse!

you guys remember the Old Spice Guy commercials?

turns out when you put a bunch of dorky city folks on horses, they also proclaim "I'M ON A HORSE." a lot.


chris: he's on a horse!

i was also on a horse, although this is all the proof you'll get of that, since it's pretty darn difficult to take a photo of yourself on a horse while still on said horse.

me: also on a horse!

this was my first! time! ever! on a horse, despite the whole farm school childhood thing, so i was pretty excited. i'd been AROUND horses, so i wasn't scared of them or nervous about their size or anything.. just pretty much excited to finally get in a saddle.


me, not in a saddle. also not even the horse i rode. details.

it was pretty terrific. it was a swelteringly hot day, but we were up in the hilly countryside where there was a nice breeze from time to time.


after about 20 minutes of walking along at a nice calm pace, though, i came to two conclusions: 1) i really wanted to go faster, now. at least a trot. maybe a nice gallop to really scare the crap out of me, and 2) my Delicate Lady Parts were ALREADY getting a bit sore, so i can't imagine how sore they'd be if we actually HAD trotted or cantered or galloped or other-horse-verbed, oh my goodness.


(i also spent a considerable amount of time daydreaming about how all the characters in the Song of Fire & Ice books - with which i am currently obsessed, and of which i am currently on book 3 - spend so much time in a saddle, and how much nicer that would be than walking miles a day, but how the saddle sores they talk about are probably very real and very unpleasant.)

(YES, i'm aware that they are ficticious characters. irrelevant.)

also! this weekend marie and i went to a self defense class in DC. i've been meaning to take one of these forever - i felt it was kind of ridiculous that at 30, i still had taken no proactive steps to protect myself, aside from buying some pepper spray and a general vague commitment to be aware of my surroundings.

it was awesome. i mean, i'm under no delusions that all of a sudden i'll be taking attackers out chuck norris-style, but it was really empowering to learn a few simple actions i could take to help myself in a bad situation. and i mean, yeah, i know that if someone is determined, Bad Things Will Happen. but i can't tell you how helpful it is - mentally, anyway - to at least have a PLAN that includes one or two things i could do if i find myself in a bad situation. considering my previous plan was something like "panic. and also probably cry."

i highly recommend a class like that if it's something you're at all interested in - i found it completely worth the price. (if you're local: DC Impact, where we took our class, has regular classes and is located right by the chinatown metro.)


  1. I know you're in much better shape than I am, but aside from ladypart soreness, were you sore the next day? Thighs/butt area is what I'm thinking? I ride rarely but am always amazed at how many muscles it takes to stay on a horse. Old fashioned cowboys must have had amazing asses!

  2. More than my lady parts my sit bones always hurt after riding a horse. Although that's probably because I have the boniest ass ever. LOVE the red hair by the way!

  3. I have never taken a self defense course so that is probably something that I should do at some point. Otherwise my plan would probably be to panic and cry too.

  4. Looks like fun! However I am reluctant to ever ride a horse again ever since that horse shat on me in Guatemala.

  5. I rode a horse once. It pooped and peed quite a bit whilst I was on it. Also farted. I was on a very Klassy horse.

    I noticed today I have a small bruise on top of my knee from all the groin hitting. Pretty awesome!

  6. Granted I have ALOT of padding but after years of riding I can stay in the saddle up to about 10 hours before I feel any soreness the next day. It takes awhile to build up to that though, but soreness isn't a factor the more you do it. And I'm sure you made that horse look good, even though Chris on a horse! couldn't get a picture for us.

    Didn't you just love it? Horse riding is the ultimate reality escape for me.

  7. I took a self-defense course in college.

    At the end you're supposed to beat up a guy in padding using moves you've learned in the course.

    The guy basically let me go after 5 laughable minutes.

    So. Awesome.

    Hope you had more success than me - and it sounds like it, so I'm sure you'll be fine in any simulated or non-simulated experience.