fried

i have too! many! things! going on right now. so many things, in fact, that everything in my brain gets exclamation points just like that. i can't fall asleep at night because my brain's all hey! tomorrow! we need to think about decorations for that shower! that you were supposed to think about today! but didn't! also you haven't picked up the visas for brazil! and maybe order those prints for the wall one day! but you still have to pick which two to use! which means we need to sit down and think about that! but when can that happen! there is no free time! except imagine that times ONE MILLION.

after this saturday, however, things should hopefully calm down in my brain a little bit. this saturday is the Big Reveal night for the scavenger hunt - which, while incredibly, super awesome, is also causing a lot of my stress because must! finalize! video! by then! except i still need to record a few items! and when will i get time to put together the intro piece! and then the credits! much less edit the whole thing together! and find music to put with it! YOU SEE HOW THIS IS GOING.

(i'm loathe to post anything here before the presentation night, since there are some other Hunters who i think read this, but here's a wee sample of the awesome we have going this year: the item was "recreate a movie poster")normally, i would just dedicate friday night to the completion of the video. HOWEVER, complicating that a bit is the fact that the OTHER thing i have scheduled for saturday is a photo shoot at my studio - eg, anyone who wants to can sign up, and we have a lovely professional photographer come in a shoot you for 15 minutes doing whatever showoffy tricks you want.

this is slightly stressy for a number of reasons:

a) i have not had time to practice my tricks / poses - making sure the tricks look good in a static photo, with your head facing the right direction and not having arms sticking in weird directions and stuff actually takes quite a bit of thought. i have not thought.
b) CHOOSING the tricks/poses in the first place! i also have to do that!
c) i also need to find time to prepare on a more, uh, basic level. it's too late to not have stress-eaten all month (ALAS) but i need to do things on a more granular scale in preparation for wearing wee shorty shorts and a sports bra. i think you know what i mean.
d) AUGH also i need to figure out what i'm wearing! and a pedicure! i should get one! WHEN? i'm working saturday morning and the shoot is at 1:30 gaaah!

the thing that's the most irritating about this is that these are both VERY FUN activities, and it's pissing me off that i'm tainting them with The Stress.

but! i'm actually taking tomorrow off in an effort to get my brain in order. one of the things that GETS me into this Stressy State in the first place is feeling like i have so many things going on that i don't have time to mentally tackle ANY of them - by which i mean sorting out for myself what needs to get done, figuring out when i can do it, all that good stuff. right now i just have a maelstrom of Things! That! Aren't! Being! Done! swirling around my head and i'm in such mental disarray that i'm inadvertently flaking on friends and responsibilities, which i hate hate hate.

so tomorrow: a personal mental health day, in the truest sense of the word, to organize my brain enough to handle the rest of this week.

and the baby shower i'm throwing in another city in 2½ weeks, for which i am completely unprepared.

and the south america trip i'm taking 2 days after that, for which i am even more unprepared hahahahAAHAHAH SEE THIS IS WHERE I START GETTING PANICKY AGAIN breeeeathe, self.

tomorrow i will make lists, and it will be good.