last night i headed into old town alexandria to a cute little bar called tiffany tavern to see a friend from college, who is in a band, and my college roommate, who is married to him. i hadn't seen my college roommate in many months, which is terrible of me, because she's awesome. and i hadn't seen her husband's band play since last christmas, which is also terrible of me, because they're a really fun bluegrass-y band made up of three very talented musicians. so! it was a fun night all around.
part way through the evening, however, i moseyed to the ladies' room to take care of some bidness. now, i've made my stance on women's bathroom etiquette VERY clear in several blog comments around the blogosphere. one of my very first blog posts was about this very subject. basically: i can't STAND IT when women pee on the seats. personally, i don't even understand why women squat, since we have this handy thing call SKIN which protects your delicate heiney from the mean ol' toilet seat, but whatever - if you're too dainty to let your precious flower of a bum touch a toilet: fine. not my problem. squat away. UNLESS THAT MEANS YOU PEE ALL OVER THE STUPID SEAT. now all of a sudden, it IS my problem, because for some ungodly reason i now have to deal with your bodily fluids when, HEY, there's a freaking TOILET RIGHT HERE that was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED for those fluids and the dealing thereof. see how that works when we all play nicely?
anyway! my point - um, before that rant slipped out, anyway - is that i am used to giving the ol' toilet seat a once over to make sure i won't be in for a urine-y surprise when i go about my business. so i glance down and see that there's no pee on the seat.. but.. there is something...
SPIT. there was a SPITBALL. ON THE TOILET SEAT.
ladies. can you PLEASE explain to me what the hell is up with this? i was in a small bar, on a monday night, with mostly middle aged-ish ladies who were there for some quiet, decidedly not-drunken bluegrass enjoyment. this was not an M st. bar on a saturday night; there were no 21 yr old girls taking shots; no one was staggering to the bathroom to call their boyfriend crying and then puke up their last redheaded slut. it was a bunch of entirely responsible women - who had managed not to pee on the seats! - yet someone SPIT. ON THE TOILET SEAT. AND THEN LEFT IT THERE.
really, women? really? i just.. wow. WHY. WHYYY.
eww!
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine why someone would need to spit, let alone leave it there. Ew!
ReplyDeletethe more i hear about them, the more i believe ladies' bathrooms are horrible, horrible places to see.
ReplyDeleteGirls are soooo gross!
ReplyDeleteThat right there is utterly disgusting. This just solidifies my aversion to using public toilets.
ReplyDeleteWTF?!? eeeeeeewwwwwwww
ReplyDeletethat is disgusting
ReplyDeletejust .... eww
That is effing disgusting. And horrifying. *shudders*
ReplyDeleteYou'd also think that even if someone was spitting into the toilet, it's a big enough target to NOT hit the seat. You'd think.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you might appreciate this:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/06/o.tinkler/index.html
I really shouldn't have read this while eating.
ReplyDeleteI am just going to tell myself that a drunken MAN wandered into the ladies room and hocked a loogie. Yes.
ReplyDeleteP.S. We have a squatter at work, and she always gets stuff on the seat and the floor. GROSS.
P.P.S. My word verification is "Splatem." HA.
Spit is gross. I think pee is less gross.
ReplyDeleteNow I am gross.
Maybe a guy knew he'd be ridiculed for spitting in the men's room, so he snuck into the ladies' room to do it. I cannot fathom any woman, lady or girl ever spitting on a toilet seat. Now, while running? That's another story. =)
ReplyDeletePeeing on seats is one of my biggest pet peeves. FINE, don't sit on the seat, but CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF.
ReplyDeleteYour rant = my rant; therefore, I ♥ you. And this bluegrass-y band in that place sounds like a fun night to me! (except for the long drive)
ReplyDeleteCan you guarantee me a clean toilet seat? (Because, hello?? Squatting is for the woods!!)
Squatting makes me so angry. WHY? It doesn't make any SENSE. Toilet seats are the cleanest part of the entire BATHROOM, at least until people start HOVERING OVER THEM, and plus your bum skin has little or no contact with any orifice, EVER! GAH!
ReplyDeleteAnyway. Creepy about the spit. Must have been a pre-barf. Heh.
That's disgusting. I would try to come up with an explanation, but that would involve THINKING ABOUT IT. IN DETAIL. Which I would really rather not do.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen the old Ellen Degeneres stand up where she imitates what women must be doing in there? HILARIOUS.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on hovering. Ridiculous notion. And the spit? I...am at a loss. Why?
ReplyDeleteSo nasty!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in San Fran I passed a man walking out of the ladies restroom and he was shocked as shit to find that he was in the wrong place...I wonder where the hell he thought the urinals were?
Public restrooms are sooo disgusting.
What is *wrong* with people?
ReplyDeleteI like Tiffany Tavern and I like the french place next door because they have a great piano bar/sing along upstairs (which you'd never know from street level because all you hear is the bluegrass from Tiffany Tavern.)
Hovering drives me crazy for all the reasons you mention. Why does someone else's irrational fear of contamination have to lead to an ACTUAL contamination? And if it does, can't they CLEAN IT UP? Whose job do they imagine it is to wipe up their pee?
ReplyDeleteEuw! & I feel the same about hovering. WTF?
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, girl, I am so on your side when it comes to being anti-squat! If the toilet seat's not still warm, then that means the bacteria are dead! Let's just get over it!
ReplyDeleteGood gracious, though -- spit?! That's a whole 'nother level of nasty.
cry me a river Alice. I have been married for 13 yrs and my wife still can't train me to not pee on the seat. I actually like having pee on my seat, cause it forces me to wipe my ass.
ReplyDeleteLove reading your blog, but this one hit a raw nerve with me.
Nigel Brintley
I have come to the conclusion that the seat pee-ers are not the attention to detail types. Yes, they hover and maybe are trying to not waste paper by not using a toilet seat cover but what's so hard about giving it a wipe down before you flush your business? Just seems polite.
ReplyDeleteSpitting is one of my pet peeves. And I certainly do not want to SEE IT. Gah.
AAAAND I'm grossed out.
ReplyDeleteOh fuck no. That's disgusting. Urgh. And the peeing on the seat thing. Really? How?
ReplyDeleteHmm, what kind of women visit this bar?
ReplyDeleteUgh. That just grosses me out!
Eeeewwwwww! That's nasty.
ReplyDeleteI think I heard you can catch H1N1 from spit on a toilet seat. That's why I squat and wear a mask while I pee.
ReplyDelete:)
The post you referred to is one of the very first blog posts of yours I ever read. Those were the days.
ReplyDeleteNow, have you considered the other possibility? That this was not, in fact, spit....but was....
ReplyDeleteA COOTER BOOGER