August 05, 2009

why don't you suggest weekly root canals while you're at it?

as we all know from the preponderance of posts since blogher, there are a lot of folks who go to the conference because they're interested in growing their readership, or monetizing their blog, or getting more ads, or optimizing their search engine stats or whatever. which are all completely valid, just not anything i'm personally interested in. i'm sort of terrified to have many more people read my blog, honestly, because:
a) i'm really bad at confrontation, and even with the limited readership i have now it's sparked some, uh, interpersonal issues with Real Life people;

b) i only have a few trolls, but i don't like them very much, and i'd rather not gain any more; and

c) i feel like if i had a "readership," i'd feel compelled to write every day, and i don't want my blog to feel like a commitment. it's sporadic for a reason (read: i'm lazy), and i think i'd feel guilty if i thought i had a large audience waiting for me to produce more posts.
so! anyway, my point is that i had my own reasons for going to blogher, they just weren't to get a book deal or gain 1000 new readers.

which is why it was all the more disconcerting when i found myself talking to a guy my very first night there - at the people's party on thursday night, before blogher even officially started - who brought up partnering with a site like match and how much i could expand my own site that way.

it started because he asked what kind of a blog i wrote - and incidentally, this is a point that nilsa covered very well: dude, come up with a blurb about your blog before you go, because saying "oh! um, well, it's just kind of, uh, about my.. like... life..?" sounds pretty freaking stupid - and in trying to explain what "blogging about my life" meant, i said "oh, you know, like regaling people with tales of all my bad dates."

he then suggested contacting match, or any of the other sites, and maybe set up a partnership where i wrote humorously about all my bad dates, like as a column or something - they'd provide me with an unlimited supply of bad dates, and i'd have an unlimited amount of fodder to share with my readers.

sounds hilarious, right? except oh my god, also HORRIFYING. as i explained to this guy (who, it turns out, was affiliated with one of the sponsors and was not a fellow blogger), i go on all these bad dates so that, with luck, i can one day STOP going on bad dates. for good. i sacrifice my sanity and dignity and pin my slighly battered hopes on that fact that one of these dates, one day, will be good. and will lead to an END of crappy dates.

going on bad dates, like as a job? FOREVER? .....holy sardines on toast. no. going on bad dates is a necessary evil, not a life choice.

(...i hope.)

18 comments:

  1. I find myself annoyed that lately nobody has done anything really stupid that I can blog about. I guess my priorities are a wee bit out of wack. :)

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  2. WHO WOULD WANT TO GO ON ENDLESS BAD DATES? I honestly don't know who in their right mind would choose to spend their time like this. I would rather have no dates than an endless string of bad ones.

    I only say that because I haven't been on a date since, well it's even too embarrassing to admit.

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  3. how could he think that was a good idea? seriously?

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  4. When my blog starts to feel more like a commitment than something I enjoy, I step back and take a good long look. Sometimes I avoid it. If readers don't want to come back because I don't post every day, that's their issue. Not mine. I'm going to blog with or without them.

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  5. So he was from the "Single Guys for Traumatizing Girls on Bad Dates Association"?

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  6. This kind of reminds me of that part of Bridget Jones (the book, not the movie) where her boss wants her to start a regular series of TV spots where she humiliates herself completely. Like... haha, entertaining for other people? But not for the person DOING IT.

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  7. You forget. This was a GUY making the suggestion. And my guess is there are COUNTLESS (stupid) GUYS who would take up that offer in a heartbeat. Doesn't mean the idea still isn't insanely dumb!

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  8. Not a life choice FOR SURE. Bad dates are bad enough without it being your job.

    I am not into blogging for the increased readership either. I love my readers but I don't want to whore myself out to get more.

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  9. Making bad dates a career? Uh... I can see why you didn't jump at that!

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  10. I am so with you on all fronts. Also, glad to know I'm not the only one to say "Um, well..." when asked what kind of blog I have. Ack. Socially awkward moment #482.

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  11. I just had a root canal on Monday/Tuesday. Yes, it took 2 days. Yes, I'm taking pain meds. No, I don't want to do this weekly, thankyouverymuch.

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  12. Lucky I wasn't there with you when you met this guy. My response would have been, "I'd rather shoot myself in the face."

    Seriously, I can't think of anything else I like doing less.

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  13. I haven't had a chance to use a date as blog fodder but I'm totally willing to do it til the day I no longer have to.

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  14. People always try to pitch me on putting ads and such on my blog. I'm like, but that's not THE POINT...

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  15. Ugh. Ack. No. Maybe interesting in theory, but holy hell crappola in practice.

    No.

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  16. With your experience, I bet you would be able to make up bad dates indefinitely! But not go on them forever!

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  17. After a few recent adventures, I now have more blog fodder.

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  18. mmm, so apparently I am the only asshat who wants to read those stores?????

    I mean, NO WAY, don't subject yourself to that.

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