ok first off, you guys are all sick bastards. buying my dad a sex toy for father's day...??! although, um, now that i look at it... um... i kind of see where you're coming from. BUT STILL. *shudder*
secondly, i need your advice. here's the deal: as is our tendency, gertrude and i posted some CL ads a while ago during a slow afternoon at work. as is also normal, there weren't really any quality responses to speak of, although i did exchange a few emails with one guy who seemed fairly normal. after emailing back and forth about music for a while, i asked if he wanted to meet up for a beer; he agreed; and we eventually settled on lunch on friday, since he had the day off and i was working from home.
he suggested this lunch idea on thursday, and i confirmed (via email) on thursday evening, suggesting a 12:30 meet up time. friday morning, i expected a confirmation email and then an exchange of phone numbers. except... nothing. zippo from the boy. annoying, but whatever. no skin off my nose, considering i've never met the kid yet.
and then! an email today apologizing, as he got "too drunk" at a concert on thursday night and spent all friday nursing a hangover. which: fine. whatever. except:
a) email me ON FRIDAY and tell me this instead of essentially standing me up
b) email me sometime before SUNDAY with an apology / explanation if you actually have any interest in meeting me, ever.
am i right? isn't this pretty much epically rude? granted, he owes me nothing, certainly not a date. but... still. this is sort of basic courtesy, here.
on the other hand, i have absolutely nada going on right now, and it's not like i'm beating the dates off with a stick at the moment.
so: do i forget this chump and write him off, or graciously accept that everyone has their flaws (um, i've certainly had hangovers of massive proportions before..) and give him a second chance?
Write him off! That is beyond rude.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...normally I'm a bit harsh so I would probably say forget this guy. He should have the decency to at least write you an email to say he couldn't make it on Friday.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time though we all make mistakes, so (and I can't believe I'm going to say this) I say give him just one more chance. If he pulls the same or similar shenanigans again, then that's it, forget the guy.
My first instinct is to say, fuck that noise. Forget it.
ReplyDeleteBut, since you graciously gave me dating advice I go with choice A. That's redonk...even if he was still wasted on Friday, who doesn't have the time to shoot a quick one-liner email?
But, as I know you're aware of, I may not be the best advisor of things dating related.
(and PS: I thought it looked like a sex toy too. Sorry)
Eh, I'd probably blow him off. This is an indicator of bullshit to come.
ReplyDeleteblow him off, he could have taken 2 minute to email you and reschedule.
ReplyDeletenot a good sign.
It's hard to say. I'm going to go with Marie's comment above and give him one more chance. Sometimes guys just don't think like that. As much as it frustrates us, it's just the way they are. It's quite possible that if you called him out on it, he would feel pretty crappy that he was being a dick. But if he does it again in the same fashion, lose the fucker. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI say... NO DICE! It's just rude. Even if he was half-dead, he should be able to manage a one-line email.
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely strike one. MAYBE if he initiates specific contact and seems contrite enough, you MIGHT give him a 2nd chance. But then again, he already has one strike against him... I certainly advise against chasing him. SLynnRo has a good point.
ReplyDelete*I* didn't think it was a sex toy. It looked like a regular guy gadget to me but that's how I roll.
I'm sort of torn. On one hand, that kind of behavior seems super inconsiderate---and possibly means he is sending "doesn't really want to do this" signals in his own idiot way. On the other hand, it seems like there's nothing to lose by giving it another shot to see if the behavior is consistent or an abnormality.
ReplyDeleteDump the chump. If his manners are this atrocious at the very beginning of a not-even-had-a-date-yet-relationship, then they're probably only going to get worse. Not worth your time.
ReplyDeleteThumbs down. You can do better.
ReplyDeleteI say forget the dude. You're right: that's stupidly rude, and in my experience, guys who don't care much about their first impression don't care much beyond that, either. I've given lots of guys a second chance after crap like that (trying, like you, to give them the benefit of the doubt), and not a single one of them has been worth that second chance yet.
ReplyDeleteHe loses. I bitch about rules but I would of contacted you earlier.
ReplyDeleteSure, we all make mistakes, but there's no excuse to wait that long to explain blowing you off. Next, please.
ReplyDeleteForget him!! Seriously...I know whats its like to have been stood up before...any response from you is undeserved.
ReplyDeleteYep, I think everyone else is on the right track here. If he doesn't care enough to contact you BEFORE the plans, then he didn't care about meeting you.
ReplyDeleteI say give him one more chance, everyone has a bad day or some misjudgment in social norms every once in a while. But at the first hint of him acting that way again, good bye!
ReplyDeleteI second Tyler, everyone deserves a second chance. There actually is no downside: since he feels bad he will pay, so you get a free lunch (who said there's no such thing), and the only thing it'll cost you is your time.
ReplyDeleteYou never know, he could be your lobster. Prolly, not, but still...
Imagine you say yes to meeting up with him. At some point during this first meeting (or prior to it), you know you're going to have to address the elephant in the room - him standing you up. If you're the type of person who can honestly blow it off, laugh it away and move on, then I say give him another chance. But, if this is the type of thing that really bothers you and makes you question the integrity of his character, then I say meeting up just isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteI like Nilsa's advice. Very level headed. I would blow him off though ;)
ReplyDeleteI'd say write him off, only because he has pretty much suggested the fact that it wasn't all that important to him, or he might have contacte you sooner...
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others above, you should totally write him off. What a selfish, rude and inconsiderate loser! You don't have anything riding on this fella, so I'd just walk away from him, esp if he's going to act like that even before you met him, imagine what he'd be like if you date him! Gah!
ReplyDeleteA sweetheart like you doesn't deserve a man like that, plenty of good ones out there! They're just waiting to be found :)
I say write him off as a loss. You deserve BASIC COURTESY. If he treated you this way, how does he treat everyone he doesn't "owe"?
ReplyDeleteRUN. Run fast and run hard. That excuse is the sorriest piece of crap I've ever heard. It says, loudly and clearly, "I don't value or respect you, your time, or the possibility of meeting you."
ReplyDeleteRun.
I totally agree with LiLu. Remember Jeff?? Do you remember that he stood me up on our first date? I gave him a second chance... and we know what a WINNER he turned out to be.
ReplyDeleteWhat an asshat. Forget him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, apparently I missed an awesome post, because sexy something for a dad??????
Forget him! I can't even believe you're actually considering dating this dude. Geez Alice. You deserve better.
ReplyDeleteHe's probably a moron, but if you have nothing else to do, you might as well try to get a free dinner out of him.
ReplyDelete