December 07, 2008

match.com update #HUH?

so! i had another match date last night, and it was.... confusing. i THOUGHT it was a good date - i actually thought it was a REALLY good date - but the ending was.. well, it was confusing.

we met up at the brickskeller at 5:30 for an afternoony kind of date, only to learn the brickskeller doesn't open until 6. oops. so we headed to a nearby starbucks for a coffee first, seeing as it was cold and snowing and awful outside and we'd both walked from the metro and needed something warm. (ps: SO GLAD i took the time to flat iron my hair, just so i could then be dumb enough not to take a hat. because snowed-on hair = so hot. lesson learned.)

anyway, after the hot drinks, we returned to the brickskeller for beers. he's a bit of a beer afficionado, so i suggested we go there so he could introduce me to some better beer than i drink. we talked and talked and talked and ordered a pizza and talked, and 3 rounds of (very strong!) beer later, finally called it quits. at like 11pm. we both live at the same metro, so we took the train back together, and then he walked me all the way to my front door even though he then had to walk back to the metro to get his car.

by this point, i'd decided we were definitely in First Date Kiss-Worthy territory, because MY GOODNESS. it was just after midnight when i got home. from a 5:30pm date. after that much time with someone, i want to see if they're a good kisser, you know? and i know i'm a little rusty at the in-date flirt - it's been a looong while since i've been on a good first date - but still. i thought if i did the stand-around-awkwardly-smiling-up-at-him move outside my front door, that would be enough of a Yes, Please Kiss Me! signal.

and yet! nothing! i thought he'd been flirty during the date, but as soon as we got to my front door he got sort of.. well, more awkward than i was, even, and wouldn't really look directly at me. which meant that i was not going to throw myself at him lips-first. so we hugged, and i went inside. the end.

WHAT THE HELL! i'm pretty good at the seeming-like-i'm-having-a-great-time-on-this-date-yet-i-have-no-intention-of-kissing-you maneuver, but i don't think i've ever let it go SIX HOURS if that was how i felt. and i just don't think there are there guys who don't kiss on the first date these days. who aren't chaste for religious reasons, i mean. so i'm guessing that's out.

so i guess we'll see if he contacts me again. our respective football teams are playing each other today (eagles @ giants) so maybe i'll text him some good natured taunts and see if he responds in kind. and if not... onto the next match :-)

29 comments:

  1. All I can say was the last "first date" I went on ended in a hug ... and a few years later, I married that guy. Don't be too sad if a good date ends in a hug. Maybe he's just trying to be a gentleman!

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  2. Hugs are good...better than a high five for sure.

    I think the football texting is a good move.

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  3. I agree with Nilsa! My best first date that ended as a hug is sitting next to me on my Christmas cards this year...he also loves saying that, "you soooo wanted to kiss me on that first date" it gives him a swelled head and a good feeling. He's clearly a dork.

    He kissed me on the second date, so I agree with the notion of seeing what happens.

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  4. Count me in with Nilsa and Raven. My last first date was from Craigslist and lasted 6 hours. It ended with a hug. We were married in May :) I think we were 3 dates in before the first kiss happened - I'm a "take it slow" kind of girl.

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  5. a six hr date! that sounds very promising to me! maybe he was feeling awkward? or is one of those guys who is not good at making the first move? who can fathom the male mind? ;)

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  6. david thinks could be shy in that way.

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  7. He has to be shy and was probably nervous. Your magnificence was overwhelming and he didn't want to blow it by coming on too strong.

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  8. I agree with Nilsa, et all. I mean not that I have a hug-ender sitting next to me or putting a ring on my finger. but ok I just mean don't over-analyze it (easy for me to say). Maybe he was just being a gentleman or taking it slow. Wait and see what happens next.

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  9. I'm old and married, so I totally miss this time of confusion!

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  10. I had a date last night that was exactly the same! I had no idea what to think of it either

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  11. For whatever it's worth, I don't think I've ever ended a first date with an online match with a kiss. I think there's something more formal or tentative about having met online. When you meet someone in person and go out after that, you've already got some of the initial awkwardness and chemistry-testing out of the way, so a first date kiss feels maybe slightly more appropriate.

    Or maybe I'm just a prude or don't have many good first online dates. Either way, I wouldn't fret yet!

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  12. Maybe the date was too good to risk 'ruining' it with a first date kiss? There are loads of girls out there who don't kiss on the first date. Please keep us updated anyway, it sounds intriguing!

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  13. Another vote for "don't write it off."
    The first time my now-dh said goodbye to me, he hugged me. I was disappointed. He rethought it and came back to kiss me goodbye as we were driving away in separate cars.
    It's probably good he escaped right then and there, because I had the crazy inspiration to get in his car and drive away with him (he lived on the opposite end of the state).
    I didn't hear from him for over a week after that, but we've now been married for 21 years.
    You just never know...

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  14. That does sound like a good date. Hope you hear from him!

    Word verification: "unyin" Onion? Ha.

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  15. He left you wanting more, didn't he? You have the anticipation of the first kiss to build up to.

    I say give him another chance. The date sounded amazing!!

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  16. I am going to agree with others that have said not to let this get to you. The date sounded really good, and I think that a little nervousness, etc might have gotten in the way. You mentioned that you were a bit rusty and well, maybe he was too. I think that the only time I have kissed on the first date, if you can call them dates, is when they are drunken hook-ups.

    I hope you hear from him again and get a second chance to see what happens! And condolences on the Giants.

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  17. He could be shy, or nervous about misinterpreting, or not want to be too forward? On our first date I kept trying to get Torsten to kiss me... but nothing doing. But you've seen how well that worked out!

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  18. I bet he was shy/nervous/being a gentleman. Here's the date #2!

    P.S. Sorry about your Giants.

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  19. He sounds great. :) I hope there's a date #2.

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  20. Maybe he's just being nice or old fashioned. I know it sounds crazy, but it could be true. :)

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  21. I"m guessing nerves because, let's be honest, you don't spend six hours with someone and walk her to the door if you're not at all interested.

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  22. My best first date ever, did not end with a kiss. It was also a 6 hour date! And like some of the other people who mentioned similar experiences, now I'm married to the man. Taking things slow really made every stage of our relationship exciting (if that makes sense).

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  23. I think he likes you as a friend but he isnt attracted to you.

    You have to realize that it isnt all about you judging if your dates are worthy, maybe you arent worthy sometimes :)

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  24. al-dog i wouldn't take that as a bad sign per se. maybe he's old fashioned and i know a lot of people that didn't necessarily kiss on the first date.

    just see what happens i guess : )

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  25. AUGH!

    Why didn't YOU just initiate a kiss if you wanted to??? Why is all the pressure on us??

    -huff huff huff-

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  26. The fact that you wanted a kiss is a step up from where I am, so YAY for you!! Here's to a 2nd date...soon!

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  27. Dude been there. Always wonder why the fuck someone doesn't try to kiss me on the first date. Reading all your other posts now to get up to date.

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  28. I say he was nervous. Or maybe he has a rule of not kissing on the first day (which I personally think is stupid if you hit it off well with someone).

    Just have to wait and see! I know, most annoying point.

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