November 21, 2008

match.com updates # 2 and #3: ...meh

i may not be good at finding the right relationship, but man, i'm freaking awesome at the first date. seriously. it's apparently a legitimate skill. like, some women can make their hair look like it doesn't belong to a homeless person. i'm still working on that one, personally. BUT, i give a darn good first date. i know this because no matter how i think the date went, and no matter what the guys ultimately decide about me, they almost always request a second date.

which is awkward, because i like approximately 1% of guys after the first date.

my two match dates this week were, to quote stefanie, perfectly nice men. nothing hilariously off, like with mr. suspicious; guys who i legitimately think i'd like to be friends with, but.. you know... just not guys i had any interest in making out with. i may give date #2 another chance, i haven't decided yet. i think guy #1 is out, though. aside from the DEFINITE no-desire-to-make-out issue, there were a few additional strikes against him:

*he comes from a SUPER DUPER religious family. he's the "black sheep" of his family, and broke from the uber-religion thing, but he described his family as akin to those in "jesus camp" and "saved." um, can you imagine me ever going back to meet that family? it would.. uh.. not go well.

*he's never been drunk. now, i know, this makes me sound like i'm an alcoholic and can only cavort with other lushes, but... i used to not drink. i know how people who don't really drink feel about people who DO get drunk. and they're not very flattering thoughts. i don't get fall-down drunk these days, but i do enjoy my beverages, and i don't need someone giving me that Disappointed Look every time i get tipsy.

*he asked me how come i'm still dating around, if i've already lived in DC for 6 years. uh, EXCUSE ME? just because i've lived in one location for a while i should have found a husband? i basically said that to him verbatim, after my eyes finished bugged out of my head. the poor boy backtracked like it was his job and said the question had come out wrong.. but he didn't really clarify, and did still want me to answer.

so tonight i need to email him back and decline the second date offer, which sucks. i hate doing that. stefanie - i think i need your tutorial on the "i'm just not feeling it" email :-) and for #2... in the course of writing this post, i've gone back and forth no less than four times on what i'm going to do with date #2. i think i'll go out with him again after thanksgiving and see if he can grow on me.

the rest of my weekend is refreshingly date-free. i'm going to the improv tonight to see a hypnotist, i'm hanging out with an airline buddy in town tomorrow afternoon, and going out to dinner tomorrow night with my college roommate and her husband. and hopefully sleeping a lot, because holy shit i am NOT capable of going out every night these days. i'm freaking exHAUSted.

16 comments:

  1. doesn't drink? throw him to the curb!

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  2. #1 sounds like he'd want to make you see the light eventually and I'm sure you've bought enough sunglasses in your life to know what kind of light you do/do not want to see.

    Have fun this weekend!

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  3. Totally with you on this - I haven't done much dating but I usually find when I am on a date with someone, I rarely want to see them again. This just means we are overly charming and not many can compare to us :)

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  4. Disappointed Look = impossible to have sex with
    it doesn't matter what the disappointed look is for
    once the disappointed look is introduced to the relationship, it's like you're dating a parent

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  5. I hardly ever drink anymore, but I am highly suspicious of people who have never been drunk. It's just not right.

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  6. I totally get the Disapointed Look thing. I had a boyfriend at one point that used to do that and it was probably the biggest reason why I ended it.

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  7. If you feel you can't even make out with guy, I have a strong guess he is out.

    And he's never gotten drunk before? Really? Has he even had an alcoholic beverage?

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  8. Email is the great equalizer. You can email #1 and say, "while I had a great date with you the other night, I really don't feel like we are going to mesh long-term. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, and I wish you all the luck in finding your perfect mate!"

    something like that.

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  9. That guy sounds a little intense! And I really enjoy that he asked you about why you're still dating around if you've been in DC for 6 years.

    What's his excuse?
    Oh wait, maybe it's the points you just listed... lol

    Poor guy, maybe he can be a friend?

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  10. I don't think I can help you out with that email, as the last time I wrote one of those, the guy got angry and defensive in return. Nice.

    And I'm with you on the no-drinking thing. I mean, on one hand, built-in designated driver. (Yay!) On the other hand, if they're judgy and disappointed, no thanks. I'm in communication with a non-drinker myself at the moment. I think other things might be the deal-breaker before that, but the no-drinker deal does raise an eyebrow.

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  11. While I admit I am enjoying reading your dating recaps and opinions, mostly I am just SO GLAD to not be dating anymore. Because? I sucked at it. (Which makes me wonder how dh & I ever got married! Oh, yeah - we never dated.)

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  12. What if men blogged and analyzed all their dates?

    Women who do this, and all the women comment about it lack good character.

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  13. Anonymous sounds like he's taking it personally ;)
    As much as I want guy #2 to have a second chance, if "i'll see if he can grow on me" is the best you can say about him, it maybe doesn't bode well.

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  14. Well, if the email letdown just isn't your thing, I suggest getting wasted drunk and giving him a call.

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  15. Ha ha ha. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to go on the second date. Gosh sometimes I meet men and I don't even want to flirt with them. Surprised that I'm still single? BTW you've given me quite a few good ideas for my blog.

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  16. ha! I'm loving these dating stories, but feeling for you too.

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