January 18, 2006

dear jerky food stealer,

so today i brought in leftover pizza. 5 whole slices, in a ziplock bag. i didn't bother with my name this time. instead, my note on the bag:

NOT YOURS, FOOD STEALER. MITTS OFF. THX.

22 comments:

  1. Haha, I love that expression. I'm now imagining a rascally food stealer with a bandana over his nose sneaking around the office lunch room wearing a big ol' pair of oven mitts.

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  2. Are you sure that isn't going to just tempt that person further?

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  3. Good work. Very good work.

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  4. Alice, you KNOW I’m feelin’ ya!!! HOW RUDE!!! Here I thought my disappearing water was bad! Honestly, if someone ever invented a cheap spycam for employees to watch their food, they’d make a FORTUNE!! (Key word being “cheap” – I know they already have expensive ones…)

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  5. Maybe your note should have read:

    NOT YOURS, FOOD STEALER. I LICKED EACH ONE AND I HAVE MONO. THX.

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  6. LOL! Perfect. I hate the assholes that can't keep their hands off other people's food.

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  7. the thief could steal the ziplock bag, now that you've ziplocked the pizza.

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  8. nothing lower than a pizza molester

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  9. Good job! That sucks in that you have to worry about someone stealing your food...what a jack ass.

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  10. But....it's pizza, not jerky.

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  11. Sounds like one of those Bud Light ads with the led singer of Survivor "Mr. Jerky food Eat -eeeeerrrrrr!"

    Put ex-lax in the brownies and see who takes them next time.

    ~Jef

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  12. I used to keep a jug of water in the office fridge. Just regular water, but people always took it, even if I put my name on it. So finally I put a sign on there that said "Armaedes' Diet Water." Nobody ever drank it again.

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  13. You could leave a note saying that you rubbed your Pizza on your.....Wait a min. That would make me want to steal and eat it too. Skip that suggestion.

    ;-)

    Jj

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  14. Do what they do in the movies and make something with dog food or put hair in the middle of two slices of bologna or something. Yuck that hair thing just icks me out.

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  15. put a mouse trap with pizza on it ta catch dat varmint.

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  16. You're FAR to kind.

    I would have laced it with ex-lax or something...waited to see who spent just a LITTLE to much time in the toilet!

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  18. Booby trap one with eye drops. Might not stop em stealing your food but you'll know who dunnit by the shit trails from their desk. Tee hee :)

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