Moar OHSS

After writing that post on Monday, I got a call from the office: my doctor had seen my bloodwork and fluid-filled ultrasounds, and moved the aspiration up to Tuesday instead of Wednesday. This was highly fine by me because I was miisssserabllle at that point. My nurse called at about 1:45 with that news, advised that I should definitely keep on with the protein and gatorade, and by the way, I was home, right? I admitted that no, I was at the office, but planning to leave soon because it was getting to be too much. "OH MY. Yes. Leave now. Do you need a note? I can write them a note. Please go home right now."

I left shortly after that and was in tears for most of the ride home, because... just, everything. I was having terrible thoughts, wondering if it would be better for the fetus not to make it, because at least then I could recover from the OHSS. Which obviously is NOT what I want. But it was getting increasingly hard to face an undetermined amount of time dealing with this when there was nothing I could do to treat it, stop it, or have any idea of when it would fix itself. It's unbelievable to me that I've only been dealing with this for a week - one week! - because it feels like an eternity. And the thought that it could continue for several MORE weeks, when I was in such a bad state... it was no good.

I had another night of failing to sleep because everything was terrible, then worked from home for the morning ("worked") and headed back up to the treatment center Tuesday afternoon. On Monday, I had been all "oh yeah, let's try to wait until Wednesday, it certainly can't be good for me to go under anesthesia so frequently!" On Tuesday I could barely make the car ride without crying every time we turned, swerved, hit a bump, accelerated, you name it. I was VERY READY for some effing anesthesia if it meant GETTING THIS OUT OF ME.

This time they got out 2.4 liters. That is considerably more than one of those big bottles of soda. The doctor who performed the procedure came by to see me afterwards and was like, "Two and a half liters is a LOT for someone your size! You must have felt terrible!" Yes. Yes, I did.

But of course the benefit of getting drained is IMMEDIATE relief, so I felt a lot better than that sad picture up there as soon as I woke up. I more or less hadn't eaten in 2 days at that point (Tuesday in preparation for the anesthesia; Monday because I had run out of room for food) so we went straight to a pho place where I downed a very respectably sized - and protein-filled - bowl of soup.

I went back in Wednesday morning for follow up bloodwork and an ultrasound to see how my insides looked. At this point I was about 15 hours post-draining... and I already had some pockets of fluid back. WHAT THE HELL BODY JESUS H CHRIST ON A CRACKER. The pockets were still comparably small, at least, and were still just in my lower abdomen around the ol' ovaries, nothing (yet) up higher where it starts making it hard to breathe.

The good news is we're now another day out and I have not yet ballooned out fully, so I'm hopeful that this time maybe I'll be slower to refill. I finally have had 2 good nights' sleep in a row - much more manageable without a grossly distended stomach! - and I am feeling exponentially better as a result. But good gods I would love to also kick this freaking thing.

And now for some numbers! My first beta was early, at 8dp5dt (this is how every post on IVF/fertility message boards look, by the way. They are entirely in code, and I frequently have to google these abbreviations in order to follow along. 8dp5dt = 8 days post 5 day transfer, meaning my blastocyst was 5 days old when they transferred it, and my beta was done on the 8th day after transfer... or what would be 13 days after ovulation in a normal person).

8dp5dt (13 dpo) = 223
11dp5dt (16 dpo) = 475
13dp5dt (18 dpo) = 715

So the numbers are going up, which is reassuring, but they are not quite doubling each time, which is traditionally what you want. They assure me that this is OK in my case, because my blood volumes are so messed up right now. Hopefully they are not just saying that to placate me.. I'd rather know up front if they are concerned so that I can manage my own expectations. But for now I'll assume numbers going up = good and leave it at that. And obsessively checking my numbers against online databases for reassurance, naturally.