February 14, 2011

paintings of the pole: volume 6

i'm aware that i'm a terrible blogger right now, folks. i haven't updated this since before the cruise, i haven't updated with pictures FROM the cruise, and i haven't been reading your blogs either. work = killing me dead. it's crappy.

however! after going to pole this weekend, and coming back with new friction bruises on my dang RIBS, i thought it might be time for a new mspaint party up in hurr!

so there's this move called a descending angel, which is not complicated. you do a regular invert:
..then you let one leg drop back behind you, and you grab it with your hand. the reason it's not really that hard, though, is that you've got a DARN good grip on the pole with your dominant hand still (eg my right hand, in this case) AND lots of friction with your leg, including being able to hook your foot behind the pole.
look at me! i'm a descending angel! even though i'm not actually going anywhere!

so the next step up from THAT is do a descending angel with no hands. NO! HANDS! this is problematic, because it's taking away my primary not-falling-off mechanism. if i were to just pull my hand away, i would look like this for about .005 seconds:
..then i would look like a heap on the ground under the pole, because i would have slid right off. OR i would start crying because my ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT would be supported by the friction on that one leg, which... ow. trust me.

(i should point out that Advanced Pole Folks hold their entire body weight by very tiny patches of skin all the time. i, however, am not an Advanced Pole Folk and i still cry like a little crybaby when i have to support myself via skin friction. CRYBABY.)

so ANYWAY, the way to do this without falling off and/or ripping the delicate skin off one's thigh? remove your shirt, naturally! (sports bra remains on, horndogs.) then you get the entire expanse of your ribcage on your right side to friction it up on the pole:
i didn't draw that exactly right - my torso would actually be more fully to the side of the pole, and the main drag of tension would be a slightly diagonal line from my right hip bone up to my armpit. but, trust me when i say that after practicing this move - along with its mate, where you are in the exact same position, but with legs reversed (eg left leg on the pole right leg hanging off) - it looked like someone had painted me bright red on the right side of my torso. basically from indian-burning my own skin.

it's sort of surprising i enjoy doing this, really.


  1. ow ow ow ow ow

    that's all I've got

  2. This is where it all got complicated for me:

    "so there's this move called a descending angel, which is not complicated."

    Also, your MSPaint skillz are da bomb.

  3. Your pole drawings are the best. It's always a treat to see them.

    How is it that strippers aren't riddled with bruises from doing such moves? Seems like they should have bruises all over. I know I would. They must have some kind of secret stripper skin.

  4. surprisingly, this does NOT make me want to go sign up for a pole dancing class.

  5. Your drawings are almost as good as a real pole dance. It's almost like I'm right there watching you bruise yourself silly (kudos, btw, strong work).


  6. Wowza lady you are hardcore! I'm impressed!

  7. I couldn't pole. Being upside down freaks me out.

    I like that you can say, "I have a pole injury" though. That's pretty bad ass.

  8. Um.. Yeah I used to think pole dancing was about being all sexy... But actually, probably friction burns aren't all that sexy-times awesome.

  9. OUCH. Someday I need to watch you doing all that. I just can't picture it. OUCH.