my sister: she wins at life

you guys, i wish you could all meet & hang out with my sister. if you looked through my entire birthday photo set, you saw several of me like this:

...and it was entirely due to my sister's birthday present to me, which started with this:

as you'll recall, i had a somewhat.. um.. "fraught" past few months wherein i injured myself sort of constantly. which my sister has actually DRAWN INTO MY NAME here: the ribs are for getting them stuck out of alignment; the tailbone, of course, for the months of suffering it caused (plus the varying attempted fixes); a starbucks cup for the accidental back-scalding; an umbrella for playing a starring role in both the ribs AND the scalding incidents; and finally bedbugs from that horrifying foray into the wrong way for a body to react to vermin.

so naturally, her gift to me was a survival kit.

can you see the small print? it says "For use in case of rare / mysterious / patently ridiculous injury."

(you should probably click on most of these for bigger / detailed views, by the way.)

so what would i need, in addition to sterile gloves, fake blood, several bandages of varying sizes, and "happy pills"?

helpful field guides to help diagnose and treat my maladies, naturally:

(seriously, click on this to see it big. worth it.)

(can you tell she's also a scientist?)

obviously these were a HUGE hit (especially with me) and she is a VERY FUNNY LADY.

and there was still more!

so HOPEFULLY my 30th year will be a little less clumsy than my 29th so that i can watch dexter at my leisure (can you believe i've never seen a single episode?) but it's nice to know my sister has me covered for the much more likely scenario of... well... anything else.

(BOOB MRSA. MRSA. ON MY BOOB. STILL INCREDULOUS.)