July 01, 2010

sleepwalking

you guys, i'm tired. exhausted, pooped, knackered, beat, drained. fatigued. you get the picture.

things at work are insane. INSANE! i'm going a mile a minute and feel like i need a full body massage when i leave every day. however, the real problem is that i need SLEEP. delicious, healing, fantastic sleep. i am not getting enough of it, and it's making me very sad.

(and tired.)

back in may, i lost my phone when i was in san francisco. luckily, i also have a blackberry through work, so i just used that until the absolutely fantastic mccashew sent me her old phone. (thank yoouuu!) unluckily, my bb has... well... "seen better days" would be putting it nicely. so when i was relying on it full time - including, for example, setting it as my alarm each morning? - it became apparent that things were not going to go swimmingly. for instance, i learned that sometimes, it just... doesn't make noise. someone calling? meh. new email? who needs to know that? ALARM CLOCK? why would that need to make noise?

this resulted in several very-not-good oversleeping instances, and it was a welcome relief when mccashew's phone arrived and i could once again count on a working phone to wake me up every morning.

however! my body has apparently been SCARRED by this, and no longer believes that there is a reliable method to wake me up in time to get to work. instead, i keep JOLTING AWAKE at, like, 6:30am and need to check my phone in a panic to make sure i'm not oversleeping. i never am, obviously, since i now have a working phone, but my brain refuses to believe this. so i am, for absolutely no reason, shaving precious time off of my could-be-sleeping quota every effing morning. it's... displeasing. especially since i keep having places to be on the weekends, and while they're nearly always FUN places to be, they still require setting an alarm, which means i still do the ACK ACK WAKE UP DID I OVERSLEEP QUICK CHECK THE PHONE OH WAIT IT'S ONLY 5am HUH I GUESS I CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW WELL MAYBE WHEN MY HEART STOPS RACING every. dang. day.

does anyone have a fix for this..?

in other news, i hosted a small brunch for my very lovely college roommate and her very lovely husband last weekend, and they brought some very lovely flowers. you may recall, however, that i also have a very stupid cat. as a result, i've been keeping the flowers in my bathroom since it's one of the few rooms i can lock the cats out of while i'm gone all day.

(to wit: a picture of a kitten oliver from 2007, which is the last time i left him home alone with access to lillies:)

when i'm home (and in the bathroom) oliver immediately jumps up on the counter next to the flowers, and spends every second seeing just how close to eating the flowers i'll let him get before i whap him on the skull.

last night i had to work late, and when i finally stumbled home at 10:30, oliver was being extra affectionate. i should know by now that that's an indication that i need to start figuring out what he did wrong, but i was tired, and didn't pick up on the HUGE clue that my bathroom door was mysteriously open.

the vase is shattered into such small pieces that you can't see most of them from the photo... although you CAN see the huge puddle of orange goo that apparently results from lily pollen swimming in a vase-ful of water that slowly evaporates throughout the day.

this is not relaxing, OLIVER.

20 comments:

  1. not to stress you out further, but I read that lilies were toxic to the kittehs if they ate them. But dumping a vase full of them onto the floor might be ok.

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  2. Ah! Don't you hate when your brain works against you? And then the next thing you know it conspires with your cat to make everything more difficult.

    If it makes you feel better my mom's cat loves to eat baby's breath and then throw it up. He especially likes to do this late at night right before I walk barefooted in the dark to the bathroom...

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  3. I think the caption to that first photo should be, "Dude. We're out of Cheetos." :)

    I have orange daylilies outside and that pollen gets all over everything. Did it clean up OK?

    As to the alarm clock/panic issue: maybe set two of them so your brain can relax.

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  4. At least you didn't come home to find bloody cat footprints all over your house like that scene in Die Hard when Bruce Willis had to walk barefoot through broken glass. Yippie-kai-yeah mother******!

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  5. Fucking cats! What is with them this week?

    Since I have the dog this week, my one cat has been parked on top of the cabinet and eating some dried flowers I had up there from a long ago bridesmaid bouquet.

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  6. Eh. What's a little broken glass in the bathroom? It's not like anyone ever goes barefoot in there.

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  7. what a perfect story in pictures. 2007 pic included. love it. but bad bad oliver! hope you get some sleep over the long weekend!

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  8. Best way around the 'OMG I missed the alarm!' jerking awake at all hours is to set several alarms for a few days. That way there's no way you will miss *all* of them, and it'll help to reassure your brain that it's okay to stay asleep.

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  9. I agree with P&D - set two alarms. Your phone, and a battery one for five minutes later.

    OLIVER. Oh, Oliver.

    I want a cat. Dammit.

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  10. GAH! Your blog did not record my comment. I bet you it's somehow Oliver's fault.

    Naughty kitty!!

    Oh and try the two alarm approach. Could work!

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  11. Jeez, Oliver, they were pretty tigerlillies too! (at least I think they were) But with a face like that I doubt you can stay mad for long.

    As for your sleeping problem, it might help if you went to sleep with some music on very low. That way your body is acclimated to a low level of noise and wont think every little sound is an alarm it might be missing. Just a thought.

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  12. My cat loves nothing more than when we get flowers or a plant. For him, it is like an endless salad bar...Unfortunately, after we found so many messes like you did, the flowers stay in my house only as long as the giver is there. As soon as they leave, I pack them away in my car to bring to work, removing his temptation.

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  13. If it makes you feel better, I generally wake up totally freaked out when Sweets' coffee maker beeps that it's done making coffee at 4:30AM. I don't know why, but it freaks me out. Every day. And it's not like I can ask him to stop setting the coffee maker to automatically make coffee, because then I'd have to deal with a very evil, decaffeinated husband.

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  14. Tsk, tsk, Oliver. Those flowers are so pretty!

    Also, I do the same thing, even though my alarm works. I invariably wake up about a half hour to an hour before it goes off, and as soon as I fall back asleep, there it goes.

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  15. Oh, Oliver! You naughty kitty!
    *sigh* at least it wasn't a really fancy vase... but certainly what you DO NOT want to deal with late at night.
    (I agree with Pickles and Dimes about the first pic caption: "Dude. We're out of Cheetos.")

    Um, I hate to go all old-fashioned on you, but what about an ALARM CLOCK? Like, one of those $8 babies at Target? I sleep fine with one of those on hand; it's when I am traveling and have to rely on my phone's alarm that I have terrible sleep.

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  16. urgh. Cats!
    We were out of town for a week and our alarm company called and said our alarm was going off. we were in TX, but the police said everything looked ok. When we got home we found the cats had knocked a flower pot out of the window into the sink and set off the alarm. fun times.

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  17. What pithycomments said. Some types of lily plants are extremely poisonous to cats, as in, can cause kidney failure. I don't mean to be a worrywart; just wanted to let you know.

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  18. I'm on the lookout for an acrylic vase for you. Perhaps you should just start keeping flowers in Nalgene bottles??

    Cats! If they weren't so damn cute...

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  19. Pets are such a joy...but, they are a handful. Kind of like a two year old.

    Whenever I know I have to wake up early for some reason I am constantly finding myself waking up in a panic. This has gone back since I was a kid. Once I had to get up early for a class trip back in middle school and like two hours after I went to bed, I woke up standing in our kitchen asking my mother if it was time to get up yet.

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  20. 1. hear you on the exhaustion. i make my room as dark as possible, and on bad days, i have been known to take any of the "PM" drugs, like nyquil or something. sometimes it works (ie, i dont wake up panicked and heart racing), sometimes i don't.

    2. um, your cat is freaking adorable, even with lily juice all over her (his?) face.

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