April 29, 2008

no wwc, but extra awk

i COMPLTELY bailed on WWC this week (oops. sorry!) so instead i'm going to take a page out of jenn's book and talk about first kisses. a lot of mine were not all that exciting (i can't even remember my first kiss with several exes) but i do have one of the most awesomely awkward ones ever, AND an added bonus is that i know this guy reads my blog on occassion, so.. hi! extra awk!

a few years ago, i had just broken up with a guy who i'd been dating for about a year and a half. another guy - we'll call him Muffin [aside to muffin: HAHAHAHAaaaa i kill me] - stepped up after the breakup in a Very Friendly Manner, if you know what i mean. i was hesitant to get involved, though, because i felt like i had just ended a Significant Relationship, and perhaps i Needed Time, even though i had emotionally checked out of the previous relationship MONTHS before actually ending things. so i knew muffin was interested, and i was very interested back, but felt like i shouldn't jump in because i didn't want him to be my rebound relationship. so instead i just kept accepting his offers to hang out, but wouldn't make any moves while i "took time" or whatever. but, obviously, all this reasoning / justification was going on solely inside my head, because i'm not a Talker, mostly due to the aforementioned raging case of the awkward.

so there i was, no doubt giving signals aplenty to muffin, but determined in my own head not to Do Anything because it was Too Soon. we ended up at his house one afternoon after going to watch a DC United game, lying head to head on a sectional watching Top Gun. after the movie, muffin started in on the moves. playing with my hair.. scootching closer.. giving me the eyes.. and i knew EXACTLY what was going on and started panicking in my head, because omg! i shouldn't do this! i'm still Taking Time! but.. i like this! crap! i should have made him stop already! but.. i don't want him to stop! ack!

and then he went in for the kiss, hitch-style. he went in 90%, and waited for me to come the last 10%.

and i just... stayed where i was. frozen. with his nose pressed up against my face and his lips about 2 mm from mine.

we stayed like that for a few VERY VERY LONG seconds, before muffin - WITHOUT MOVING FROM THAT POSITION, mind you - said, lips physically bumping into mine: "you suck." to which i believe i responded ".....i know."

and then i fled. because i'm smooth. and then started dating him about a week later.

in (hopefully) less awkward news, i have a date with jess and her torsten tonight! i'm bringing the wife, naturally, and we shall all no doubt regale you tomorrow with tales of hilarity. probably no first kisses, though.

14 comments:

  1. Have a fun meetup. If you guys have a first kiss story tomorrow I will be a little creeped out. :)

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  2. OMG the beer tonight is going to be so so so so much better than awkward kisses! Also, I like how it's not just Torsten but MY Torsten. That's right. No first kisses tonight.

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  3. well, it sounds like a scene from a movie, to be honest with you. And I think, although it must've been VERY awk to be there, reading it ... it doesn't sound so bad.

    On a separate note ... I had an ex that I used to refer to as "cupcake" simply because he HATED it. I'm awesome.

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  4. Oh, you're MEETING? Like in REAL LIFE? I'm going to track down her email RIGHT NOW and get her to lobby for Tonks. ;)

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  5. Thanks for the link love :)

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  6. That is an awesome story.

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  7. Best kiss story EVER. Love.

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  8. SO JEALOUS OF MEET UP. Jess and Torsten are awesome. Have a great time!

    (Um, I have also done that "lips so close together that they actually touch when you speak" thing and it is exactly as awkward as you describe. Thank you for that walk down awkward memory lane.)

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  9. "You suck." Ahahahaha! You have to admit that it's funny now, right? It's those awkward and unsavory moments that stick in our memories the longest. Otherwise they'd all just be regular ol' boring kisses. ;)

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  10. I'm still trying to formulate a response. I don't think I ever got lip blocked.

    ~Jef

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  11. Um...it's tomorrow already and I'm still waiting for your tales of madcap hilarity and hijinx.

    Ah, first kisses... Those are among the Best. Things. Ever.

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  12. First kisses - awkward!

    Where are the pictures from your blogger meet-up? DuWaxLoolu sent me over here and I want updates. Pronto! :-)

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  13. If I was one of the parties involved in that kiss, I don't know how long it would take me to be able to look back and laugh. Fortunately, that's not the case, so I'm laughing hysterically right now!

    Then again, I've only kissed one guy my entire life, so I guess I'm bound to find myself in this sort of awkwardness. Maybe I shouldn't be laughing...

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