happy effing friday

you guys, it has BEEN A DAY so far. it's gorgeous and sunny and 75 outside - and friday! - and yet i am HAVING A DAY that is counteracting all that awesome, which is pissing me off even more because gah! beautiful sunny friday! i should be happy and relaxed, right?

i've been having a hard week anyway, what with the double-duty at work while covering for my coworker. and then this morning in particular started out poorly when my normal 35 minute commute inexplicably took an hour and a half. anyone local-ish to dc will be familiar with the hell that is tyson's corner, which is unfortunately located directly between my house and my office. so normally i plod along through tysons until breaking free on the west side and zipping the rest of the way to work; this morning it took ONE HOUR to traverse the approximately 4 mile stretch, for NO APPARENT REASON. there is no snow; there was no accident; the lights were not out. WTF, PEOPLE. then when i did show up at work (an hour late) my computer gave me about 45 bratty minutes of hell before deigning to work. dear computer, i know we've been over this before? but I HATE YOU.

then. ha, oh then. so karl still hasn't paid me for his half of march utilities. i also still have one small box of his stuff that i need to send him, but whereas normally i would have put it in the mail last week and been done with this, i had a sneaking suspicion i wasn't going to see any cash for the utilities... so i held on to the box for the time being. wisely, as it turns out, since HEY NO CHECK. last night, i finally sent him an email asking if he'd had a chance to mail the check, and that as soon as i had that i'd drop his box in the mail asap.

i got an email back saying he hadn't mailed the check because he wants me to pro-rate his portion of the cable bill for the last week of the month. PRO-RATE. ONE HALF. OF THE CABLE BILL. FOR FIVE DAYS. because after he LEFT ME FOR ANOTHER WOMAN, and i MOVED OUT OF THE HOUSE for a week because he didn't have the grace to do so himself, i also cruelly unplugged my modem and router and put them in my (locked) room so he wouldn't feel free to take those with him when he left. i actually did the math this morning, just to see what sort of cash we're talking about here. the cable bill was about $100, so his half was $50. divide that by 31 days in march... multiply that times the 5 days he was there without cable.. oh, hey, what do we have?

$8.06. EIGHT DOLLARS AND SIX CENTS, YOU SAD, SAD, CHEAP-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

i told him that since i didn't prorate the electricity or water bill for the week *i* did not use either of those, maybe he should just go ahead and call it even.

dear weekend: TIME FOR YOU TO START, KTHX.