November 29, 2007


i mean, i love you so much! i want this to work! i want us to be happy together! but it's like.. it's like you don't even try. it's like you don't WANT this for us. don't you want us to be happy? don't you want things to be like they were? it's not always easy, i know that, but we can work at this! we both just need to try a little harder, ok? things will be just like they used to!


i.. uh.. am having technical difficulties. as you may have noticed. by the ranting, i mean. and the huge lack of commenting on any blogs, and the lack of posting here (although, let's be honest, that's not exactly cause for alarm these days). however, i would like you all to know that it is ALL THE FAULT OF COMPUTERS, and not of me. this one time, anyway.

so my work computer? my stupid, stupid work computer? no longer works anywhere that is not the office. this is fantastically useful for..... nothing. especially since we're given all these tools to work from home when needed. but if i try to connect to my wireless connection at home, i'm told there is full signal but "limited or no connectivity." if i physically plug the computer into karl's internet connection, i'm told there's "limited or no connectivity." the help people at work are unable to help me. this is how conversations with them go:

me: hi, i'm having trouble getting my computer to connect to the internet when i'm at home.
helpdesk: uh.. but you're connected now.
me: right, well i'm at work now. the problem is when i'm NOT at work.
helpdesk: well.. um.. you need to call from home, then. we can't tell what's wrong NOW because there isn't actually a problem now.
me: oh. isn't there some troubleshooting we could do? like maybe you could check my internet settings?
me: ...because maybe i have some settings in the wrong place?
helpdesk: ....nope, there's no way for me to tell since you're connected NOW. you have to call back when you're at home.
me: but... i can't get online when i'm home. so you can't look at my computer then, because i can't connect.
helpdesk: right, but we can't help you with a problem you're not having right now, see.
me: FINE. FINE. i'll call from home.

later that night:
me: hi, i'm having trouble connecting to the internet. i was told to call again from home when i was physically having the problem.
helpdesk: ok, let me walk you through some really inane "troubleshooting" [proceed through 10 minutes of stupid questions like "is your computer on" and "are you sure you're plugged in ALL THE WAY," and "have you tried rebooting your computer."]
helpdesk: well, ma'am, there's really nothing i can do for you, since i can't actually get onto your computer, since you're not connected to the internet.
me: I KNOW THAT. that's kind of the problem. but you told me earlier to call back when i was actually having the problem.
helpdesk: right, but see i can't actually get onto your set now since you're not online. you'll need to call back when you're in the office.
me: i hate my life.

next day:
me: hi, [explains situation again].
helpdesk: ok, let me get into your set.
[helpdesk toggles one completely useless switch on my settings]
helpdesk: ok! that should do it!
me: uh.. really? that seems.. not right. especially since that only affects my wireless settings, and i can't get on using my wireless card OR when i'm physically plugged in.
helpdesk: oh, right. [toggles same switch but in the "Local Area Connection" area]. ok, you're all set!
me: sigh. right. thanks.
helpdesk: just call back if you can't get online from home!
me: i hate my life.

i'll give you one guess as to whether or not it works from home yet.

then. THEN! i got to work on tuesday and they'd closed the building. just.. closed! sorry! we were instructed to get our computers from our office and go work from home. oh. right. haha. at home. where my computer DOESN'T WORK?

this wouldn't be quite so ridiculous if my home computer weren't ALSO broken. it's been mostly broken for months now, and i had to jump through all sorts of hoops and solve calculus equations and cure cancer just to get online, but now even that isn't enough. i'm thinking i need to sacrifice some babies to the pagan gods before that computer will get back online.

so in the meantime, i have 2 computers that i cannot use at home (or.. you know.. anywhere), and a ridiculous backlog of work that means that me blogging at work, like i'm doing now, is increeeedibly stupid. but a girl can only go so long, you know? all work, no blogging, dull alice, all that. so i have thanksgiving stories to tell, heritage turkey photos to share, and blogs to read, and.. um.. no way to upload pictures and no way to see the intarwebs except when i'm at my desk at work. O, CRUEL WORLD.

so anyway, hopefully i'll start catching back up on your blogs. and one day i hope to upload some pictures again. karl has some sort of big fancy surprise planned for tonight (!) that involves black tie attire (!!!) so i'm SURE i'm going to want to post pictures of whatever it is.. but.. uh.. yeah, we'll see. i knew there was a reason so many more people were CS majors than french majors at school. bastards.


  1. Boy, lots of people are feeling grinchy today. But you have a good reason. Although this black tie thing might snap you out of it! Have a great time! I look forward to an update tomorrow on what it was.

  2. Call back and tell them your coffee cup trai is broken. You know, the little tray that slides out to hold my cup of coffee...


  3. So glad to hear Alice is ok, though frustrated with the dumb computer gods. Doesn't it make you wonder, when the techie geeks ask if your computer is on, what kind of idiots they deal with on a daily basis?! Sigh. Well, you don't worry your pretty lil self about us ... we'll wait patiently ... for pictures ... and stories ... and comments. We'll be here. I promise.

  4. Sorry to hear about your internet woes, I had those earlier. Have fun at the black tie affair, you deserve some fun.

  5. When condescending-smug-IT-helpdesk-guy asks me if my computer is even on sets me into a tizzy more than anything else. Well, George W. Bush does piss me off worse, but that is just a given. Bastards, both of them.

    Also - I can't wait to hear about the heritage turkey... Oh, my. I am a nerd!

  6. 7 -8 years in technical support provided me lots of these scenarios. I can tell you they don't put the money into support like they used to. When I was hired we had to know stuff inside and out, not just a script.

    And a part of me is dying to start troubleshooting this.

    If you really want to get it fixed, call one of your friends who is a gamer.

    But, here's the real reason it's not working.

    Stuart: Well it's a well know fact, sonny, that there's a group of the five wealthiest people in the world known as the pentaverate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers. And meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion known as, the Meadows.

    Charlie: So who's in this pentaverate?

    Stuart: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettes, The Rothchilds and Col. Sanders before he went tets up. Oh, I hated the Col. with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face, Oh your gonna buy my chicken, Oohh.

    Charlie: Dad, how can you hate, the Col.? Stuart: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smartass!

    Charlie: koo koo


  7. Your computer woes suck. Hope everything works out soon! And you must find a way to tell us all about the black tie affair as soon as possible (y'know - without getting fired!).

  8. I too sympathize with your computer woes and wish that technology didn't play those childish games with you.

    And while I want to know about the black tie event, I would also like a "how we met and started dating" story about you and Karl. So maybe you should put that on your long list of things to catch up on when blogging... : )

  9. I think the computers have declared war. Take evasive action an secure the immediate area.

  10. I would have been like, "Oh, okay! I will work to 100% possible productivity!" Then I would have hit the couch with a bowl of snacks, because possible = zero.