Public Service Announcement

i hope that all of you are aware of the wondrous show that is Man vs. Wild. please tell me you know and love Man vs. Wild? that you love the scrumptious Bear Grylls with his adorable accent and helpful survival tips (protein = morale = the most important thing you need to survive!)?

if you don't feel this way: WHAT THE HECK. HE IS SO AWESOME.

if you've never seen the show: WHAT THE HECK. GET ON THAT. HE IS SO AWESOME.

seriously people, his name is BEAR. and he's british. and can tell you how best to navigate alligator shallows. you might need to know that some day! you never know.

anyway! assuming you know and love the show, for your viewing pleasure i give you the Man vs. Wild Drinking Game, courtesy of my friend Paul:

DRINK WHENEVER....

• Bear says "morale."
• Bear says "protein."
• Bear lights a fire.
• Bear complains.
• Bear does something ridiculous. (examples: builds a bow and arrow and successfully shoots fish with it / scales a rock wall he has just finished telling us never to try doing / drinks his own pee / etc.)

*edited to add, after conferring with paul:*

• Bear eats or drinks something gross. (see: his own pee)
• Bear tells a story (usually about a tourist who died a grisly death in exactly the location he's in now).

you'll be entertained and drunk in no time!

turns out you can make almost any show into a drinking game as long as you have even the vaguest idea of the premise. when the wife and i were in Cancun this spring, all the boys decided to go shopping while the two of us stayed at the hotel to drink beer. (i know. we were confused too.) since the men were at the mall and we were doing the heavy drinking, we decided we should probably also incorporate a drinking game into the festivities as well just to point out to the boys when they got back that we had been busy chugging beers while they shopped. probably for hair ribbons.

we found "ER" on one of the local channels. neither of us watch the show, but we made the following rules:

DRINK WHENEVER....

• someone uses medical jargon. (eg, "i need 6 ccs of morphine, stat!")
• someone uses a number. any number. (eg, "his bp is at 155 over 120!")
• two characters gaze meaningfully at each other.

holy shit, we were plastered by the first commercial break. i highly recommend it!

i also once showed up at some friends' house to go out for the night and learned that while i was completely sober, they'd been prepartying enthusiastically for the past 2 hours and were all fantastically faced. to make up for lost time, my buddy and i turned Jurassic Park 3 (happened to be on tv. please don't think i'd watch that on purpose) into a drinking game: drink whenever a dinosaur enters the frame, or whenever someone utters a truly terrible line. we caught up in like 20 minutes.

to sum up: (a) watch Man vs. Wild. so not kidding. (b) drinking to Man vs. Wild: also awesome. (c) i am really good at drinking. or something.