June 27, 2007

am becoming a cat lady. send help.

you guys. i have that picture of my kitten and the phone up as the background to my computer. AT WORK. i just got so embarrassed writing that sentence that i think i might go change my screen, like right now. also i maybe have taken more pictures of the kitten than i ever have of any of my friends. ALSO I MADE A LOLCAT. although i suppose i need more than one cat to officially be a cat lady, right? (right? ..maybe? *crickets*)

so! there is news! first of all, my wife! she has decided to return to blogging as well, although she started a brandspankin' new blog instead of trying to dust the cobwebs off an old rusty one. it is here, and it is called "i wear the heels in this relationship," because she does. even before we officially got married ("officially" = "when our facebook statuses changed to 'spouse' ") we had a sort of bad habit of attempting to deflect those horny drunk 21 year old boys who descend on you at last call by telling them we were "together," if they knew what we meant, nudge nudge wink wink. except sometimes the drunk 21 year olds would then follow us into the metro, demanding that we "prove" we were a real couple by answering tricky and insightful questions like, "what kind of shampoo does she use? DON'T LOOK AT HER! you have to answer without looking at her!" with that question satisfactorily out of the way, they moved on to determining which of us was the "man" and which of us was the "woman" in the relationship. turns out i'm the man, because jacquelyn was wearing heels and i was wearing flats. bet all you lesbians out there didn't know that was how you could tell, did you? drunk horny 21 year old boys are teh helpful.

in other news, this weekend i am hosting the best party ever to be conceived or thrown, ever ever ever. it was actually my friend alyssa's idea, because she is incredibly awesome. it's a party for girls only, and you have to wear a bridesmaid dress to come. the idea is that if you've ever been in a wedding, you now own a fairly usesless and expensive dress that you can never wear again. i mean, unless you happen to be in an identical wedding at a later date. or are invited to prom. but! now you can come to my party in your bridesmaid dress (or in the extremely hideous/awesome one you've picked up from goodwill) and we will proceed to get drunk at my house, pile onto the metro, and barhop in DC, all in our mismatched bridesmaid gowns. i plan to sport an updo, with tendrils. and blue eyeshadow. i am SO EFFING EXCITED. there will definitely be pictures.

so we have 2 other cats who live at my house, as well as between 0 - 3 dogs at any given time, depending on which roommate is home and who currently has custody of shared pets. oliver (the kitten) had met all the animals so far except for one dog, cujo. cujo is extremely small, but also extremely yappy and bitey. and oblivious to any attempts at training him. he's really rough with the other much larger dogs at the house (as in, tearing out tufts of their fur with his teeth when he latches on to their necks) so i was a teensy bit concerned that my 1lb 11oz kitten would, you know, die. but! oliver is no longer 1lb 11oz, and he has some sharp ass little claws on him. so i let them meet:

so, uh, oliver seems to be holding his own so far.


  1. Put me down for 50 on Oliver. :)
    You're upcoming party sounds great, everyone's going to have a blast!

  2. Oh my God, I wish I could come to your party. I have a closet full of bridesmaid dresses. Of course most of them probably don't fit me anymore, but the last 3 or so probably do. Yeah, I've been a bridesmaid 8 times. I was a flower girl once, but I really don't think that dress will fit.

  3. I'm so confused about this wife thing ... and cats, but I'll have to go and read the other blog I guess.


  4. you = best, party = awesome, kitteh = killing me with teh cute.

  5. your party sounds like a blast! be sure to spill all sorts of nasty stuff on the dresses so you will know you had a GOOD time!!

    Being what I am, guys used to ask me if was "Dyke" or "are you really a guy" etc. I think some Y chromosones carry a "idiot" factor on them. My suggestion? Next time one accosts you, Ask him "would you sleep with a guy?" of course the answer is "no" and the comeback is "I wouldn't either" *L*...Sadly, they are probably so drunk and/or stupid they would not get it....

  6. I had to go back and read some old posts to figure out your "wife" since you've talked about your boyfriend, and it sounds like your wife has been around a lot longer than him! I had someone like your wife once. I've debated blogging about it because some people just can't take a joke! Lol! Plus we're no longer friends. But your wife sounds great :)

    As for your party? That was a totally AWESOME idea! I'm going to have to remember this for someday. I hope you took pictures! (I'm going to do another search now and check!)