October 26, 2005

reproduce! NOW!

my mom has made no secret of the fact that she is ready for grandkids, like, STAT. it started with hints: "guess what? totally coincidentally, your dad and i invited the only two couples we know with babies over in the same week! isn't that funny? ha ha! i sure do miss having babies around!"

it got more pointed: "boy, it was nice to see sara's new baby. [pause] i can't wait until there's another baby in the family!"

finally, since that wasn't working, she resorted to outright demands: "i want grandkids!!" to which i replied, "mom, i'm not even DATING anyone right now.* you really want me to get pregnant?? and your other daughter is still in college. you want HER to have a baby??"

she more or less stopped with the hints/demands after that, but obviously still wants a grandkid.

so anyway, this general subject came up when i was teaching a piano lesson the other day, to a woman who actually IS a grandma. apparently, she could give my mom a spawn-requesting run for her money.

she told me her son had married several years ago, at which time he and his wife got a kitten. lovely, cute, blah blah blah. to her: not a grandkid. then they got a dog. also lovely, also cute, also still not human offspring. then, at a family gathering of some sort, the happy couple recounted their inability to decide whether or not to get a second puppy.

"at this point," said my piano student, "i got up and announced, 'OH NO. you will NOT get another puppy before giving me a grandchild! if you do, i swear to you i will stand in your front yard and picket your decision until you relent.' my daughter-in-law said, 'you know, i actually believe you would.'

"...they had a baby."

mom, thanks for not picketing. yet.

*i actually wasn't, at the time.

14 comments:

  1. Luckily, my mom hasn't really been pressing me to have children. Although last year she said that sometimes she has to suppress her jealousy of her friends who have grandkids. That was the only time she ever mentioned it. And she's the best kitty grandma ever. "Hey buddy -- it's me -- your grandma," she says to my black cat. And my cats LOVE HER. Because she plays with the string with them. Because grandmas are for playing, you know.

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  2. me be thinking your mom needs some extra-curricular activities....she get off the baby clique....

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  3. Maybe you should get a puppy!

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  4. Yikes - that can't be fun. My mom used to pressure my sister for kids until one day she (my sister) burst into tears and announced she and her husband had been trying for a year.

    That'll shut a mom up.

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  5. Dang, it sounds like your caught between the Scylla & Charybdis. On one hand your Mom wants you knocked up because she's wanting a baby and on the other hand your Dad is going grey knowing that his little girl is knocking boots. There's only one thing you can do: Sit your parents down and tell Dad you still have your Extra Virgin Olive Oil status, then tell your Mom you're going to adopt a baby from Bangladesh. When your adopted baby gets old enough and asks,"Mommy, why am I so dark and you're so white?" You can answer by saying, "Because I Love you so much I gave you all my pigment." You might be wondering, "what's in this for me?" By adopting you don't have to go thru the pain of childbirth. Win win scenario all around.

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  6. Um, would you like to get coffee sometime? DId I just type that? OMG, I did...

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  7. My mom did the same thing a few years ago when I wasn't dating either. I said, "Mom, if you want I'll cruise on by the high school and find me a nice Asian girl and get her pregnant and you can have your grand kid or you can wait for me to meet my wife and we can do this the way I want to." It stopped after that ... completely.

    Now she has her grand daughter and she is very happy.

    ~Jef

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  8. lol...that is sooo funny! My mom has thankfully laid off since my sister had Colby. However, one of my friend's mom has threatened to hide her birth control....

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  9. I was strangely transfixed by Walter's comment. pigment. wugh.


    my parents never brought it up until AFTER I had a baby, then they were all "we were so afraid we would never have any grand-babies...!!" ugh.

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  10. Seems rather at odds with their discomfort over the sex thing, doesn't it? :-)

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  11. My mom's friends all have older children and when they started having grandkids my mom kept asking when she could have one. I was about 21 so I told my mom she could have one in nine months and the only reason I hadn't given her one sooner is because I thought she'd be mad. Since then she's been good but she sometimes mentions how I should decorate a nursery or what presents she would like to get her grandkids.

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  12. Luckily my older brother married a girl a little over a year after meeting her and now has her pregnant 3 months after their wedding, so he's satisfying my mother. Besides, my brother said the other night to "tell Jeff if he gets you pregnant I'll kill him."

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  13. When do people finally leave us alone? First it's "grow up", then "get good grades", "get a job", "move out", "find a boyfriend", "get married", "have kids", yadda yadda yadda. Societal pressures drive me insane.

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  14. I just started reading your blog! You are SO NOT the naïve neighbor who used to babysit me. It's pretty awesome.
    Anyway, does your momma still want grand kids?

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