happy birthday to who?

i am dismally, outrageously, unforgivably bad at remembering other peoples' birthdays. you think i'm exaggerating? i officially have the birthdays of only my immediate family and maybe, like, 3 other people memorized. it's not even like i go "oh.. hey... jenny's birthday is sometime soon, isn't it?" and just can't remember the exact day. oh no. the thought never even crosses my mind. it's awful. i've tried to write down the birthdate of everyone i could ever possibly want to remember in my day planner calendar thingy, but it was pointed out to me today that i missed yet another one over the past weekend. i'm sorry al! happy late birthday! i'll buy you a drink soon! you'd think the guilt would spur me into remembering next year, but noooo. i just keep being a bad friend, year after year. and then assume everyone should drop what they're doing to celebrate MY birthday since, clearly, the world revolves around me :-)

and so, seeing as the world does revolve around me, i will now post more pictures of... me! these i took the other day, so i could participate in the holy-lord-it's-hot theme that seems to be a part of every other blog in the country right now. how can we be having a heat wave nation-wide?? i'm so glad the white house has replaced the term "global warming" with "global climate change," because otherwise i sure would find it suspicious that the ENTIRE COUNTRY is baking in heat indexes over 100 degrees. but i digress. this is what i look like after playing frisbee for 2 hours with the heat index at about 105:



the hair is especially awesome, i know. as is the completely vacant facial expression, which i will choose to attribute to being overheated/tired/dehydrated instead of, you know, just vacant. it's a shame that the flash washed me out, though, because the most disturbing part about seeing me after this type of exertion is the alarming shade of purple-ish magenta that my face turns. apparently, it's the "holy shit she must be asphyxiating" shade of magenta, because people tend to ask me if i'm ok a whole lot when i turn that color. "me? oh yeah, i'm fine. it's just my preternaturally pale skin. it lets you see every single red blood cell in my face when i exercise. charming, i know." i've vowed to only procreate with somebody who has lovely dark skin, so as to give my offspring a fighting chance.