July 27, 2005

happy birthday to who?

i am dismally, outrageously, unforgivably bad at remembering other peoples' birthdays. you think i'm exaggerating? i officially have the birthdays of only my immediate family and maybe, like, 3 other people memorized. it's not even like i go "oh.. hey... jenny's birthday is sometime soon, isn't it?" and just can't remember the exact day. oh no. the thought never even crosses my mind. it's awful. i've tried to write down the birthdate of everyone i could ever possibly want to remember in my day planner calendar thingy, but it was pointed out to me today that i missed yet another one over the past weekend. i'm sorry al! happy late birthday! i'll buy you a drink soon! you'd think the guilt would spur me into remembering next year, but noooo. i just keep being a bad friend, year after year. and then assume everyone should drop what they're doing to celebrate MY birthday since, clearly, the world revolves around me :-)

and so, seeing as the world does revolve around me, i will now post more pictures of... me! these i took the other day, so i could participate in the holy-lord-it's-hot theme that seems to be a part of every other blog in the country right now. how can we be having a heat wave nation-wide?? i'm so glad the white house has replaced the term "global warming" with "global climate change," because otherwise i sure would find it suspicious that the ENTIRE COUNTRY is baking in heat indexes over 100 degrees. but i digress. this is what i look like after playing frisbee for 2 hours with the heat index at about 105:

the hair is especially awesome, i know. as is the completely vacant facial expression, which i will choose to attribute to being overheated/tired/dehydrated instead of, you know, just vacant. it's a shame that the flash washed me out, though, because the most disturbing part about seeing me after this type of exertion is the alarming shade of purple-ish magenta that my face turns. apparently, it's the "holy shit she must be asphyxiating" shade of magenta, because people tend to ask me if i'm ok a whole lot when i turn that color. "me? oh yeah, i'm fine. it's just my preternaturally pale skin. it lets you see every single red blood cell in my face when i exercise. charming, i know." i've vowed to only procreate with somebody who has lovely dark skin, so as to give my offspring a fighting chance.


  1. OMG You sound JUST LIKE my sister! She want's to marry a darker skined guy so that her kids can get some color. So we're always trying to set her up with any male of color. She get's so pissed! I love it.

  2. Wow, you really do turn a shade of magenta, your photos look like you're really hot.., waitaminute that didn't sound right, your photos show you're experiencing some really high skin tempertures and major perspiration.

    I'm wondering if you got any new "sweet injuries", and if the older ones on your shoulder have scared over nicely?

  3. I'm forgetful about birthdays too but I thought it came with mother hood lol.

  4. walter, no, i've managed not to trip over myself much recently, so no new injuries to report. my shoulder actually is looking delightful these days, covered in new shiny pink skin which looks quite endearing :-)

  5. haha i don't know any black people at all except for my immediate family, and that's pushing it. my family is a mush pot of races. I don't even have any black friends... but i'll look around for you. i'll be sure to send them your way if i do find any. i'm here to help!

  6. That's too funny - my boyfriend has (what I have affectionately termed) pasty pale white skin that also shows a vibrant and slightly disturbing shade of pink/red when he gets too hot.

    I'm pretty sure he's just with me so that our future kids can have some semblance of skin color.

  7. marry me alice!!!
    i am brown
    and you are down with the brown

  8. my children have that darker skin too. they tan will well.

  9. hmmmmmmmmmmm, excuse me miss, are you ok?

  10. I know EXACTLY how you feel! I cant remember dates, ANY dates at all that are not directly tied to work. I have to ask my brother and sister, right around september, when my parents birthdays are. It sucks. Because I know their Birthdays are somewhere between September and November, but not sure exactly when.

    People arent understanding of this lack of memory condition, and often chastise us with bad memories (or, inability to memorize birthdays). I wonder how they would feel if we criticized them for having cancer, diabetes, or having heart disease.

    Damn... sorry bout the rant!

  11. I'm good at remembering birthdays a few days in advance but am bad about remembering the actual b-day itself. It's awful.

    Oh, and I also turn pretty red after exercising and getting overheated. And I'm fairly dark skinned. ;)

  12. my favorite new tool for birthdays, anniversaries, etc...
    they email you two reminders before the day! you can at least send an ecard on time that way...usually :)