The final countdowwwnnn

Hi! It's nearly baby time here!

38 weeks and headed to the pool. I do have a maternity bathing suit but my belly was literally too large for it.

I did take off the socks eventually. 

I have an induction date set for next week at about 39 1/2 weeks, because it turns out that the sono confirmed not just the extra fluid sitch and that I have a bit of a porker in there, but also that the doctors are "concerned" about the size of this kid's head. By which they mean my ability to get said head out of me with one or both of us remaining intact, if I let him cook much longer. So that's super reassuring and I can't wait to see what that means for my labor and delivery! Haha! (weep)

In the meantime, I have finally reached the "OK, this is finally getting pretty not ideal" stage of pregnancy. But dudes, it took all the way to 38 weeks this time! That's not bad. And it's still only small potato complaints compared to last time. When I get up from the couch these days, my hips and lower back need about 30 seconds to resolve into a non-spasming mess, until which time I waddle-shuffle like a 90 year old lady. But I mean... the spasms do stop and then I'm fine. I can still bend down and lean over and pick up Juliette. My ankles remain normal sized. Things are fine, is what I'm saying.

The only two real complaints with this late-stage pregnancy have been that same pain under my ribs again, and heartburn to end all heartburn. Like, wake up with stabbing chest pains, dart frantically out of meetings to acquire Tums level heartburn. But dude, it turns out Tums are MAGICAL. How can that little disc of flavored chalk stop heartburn pain SO immediately and so effectively!? It's astounding! However, after strongly considering DIYing some sort of ill-advised hip holster for my Tums bottle to make sure I had them nearby at all times, it occurred to me that perhaps there is some sort of upper limit to the number of Tums one should consume daily. So I googled it and.. well. The suggested max per day was the MINIMUM I was consuming. Every day. So my OB gently suggested I pick up a bottle of Pepcid instead and just take 2 of those a day, and HOLY COW THIS STUFF IS EVEN BETTER THAN TUMS, YOU GUYS! I haven't taken ANY Tums at all since my new Pepcid love affair. I love problems that are solved this easily.

Less compliant is this pain in my upper abs. Last pregnancy, I thought it was my abs literally ripping apart because that is legit what it feels like. It's awful. However! This time around I'm seeing a different chiropractor, and when the pain started several weeks ago she explained that it's actually due to my ribs being compressed by my giant child. The muscles start to spasm because my ribs are out of place, and the fascia between my ribs gets.. bad? angry? stuck? I'm not sure. But earlier in my pregnancy she'd do an adjustment, then spend some time aggressively massaging the fascia between my ribs to loosen it back up and have it chill out. It hurt, but it was a good hurt, and was super worth it because it definitely helped keep the overall pain level way down.

The problem now is that the child has apparently compressed my ribs to a point where she can't fit her fingers between them to massage out the angry fascia any more. So she can give me an adjustment, and use a tool to poke around in between my smushed ribs a bit, and do some e-stim, but it's not quite as effective as it was when she was manually manipulating the heck out of that space every 2 weeks to try and de-anger it.  But it's STILL better than last pregnancy, because I am still getting some form of treatment for it (and started much earlier on the treatment) and now I am retroactively so bummed that I accepted that much pain last time around when it turns out it was something I maybe could have alleviated a little more. Oh well.

Long story short, I am a day shy of 39 weeks and I still feel better than I did for my entire 3rd trimester last time, and I am incredibly appreciative of that. I still even work out ("work out") once a week! (I mean. I basically stretch and do some balance work and then strength train my arms and back. BUT STILL.)

I did finally pack a hospital bag, and make a list of things I should probably write down more formally on a "birth preferences" card for the nurses (I don't write a Birth Plan because I firmly believe the one thing you can be 100% sure of for birth is that you can't plan what happens), and the baby's room is mostly ready. My mom is coming down this weekend so we have someone to stay with Juliette when we head to the hospital Tuesday night for the induction prep. (I'll be curious to see if the prep meds put me into active labor again this time around!) Now we just need to settle on a name for this kid and by this time next week, we'll be a 2-child household (!!!)

Doh.

I had some pretty (now-hilarious) grand plans to use this blog as Juliette's de facto baby album, since using an ACTUAL baby album didn't seem likely for me. But.. uh... yeah. I clearly did a SUPER GREAT JOB with that.

And now I'm a few weeks away from popping out another one.

And in the meantime, Juliette has grown into a very independent, very hilarious, and very on-the-go almost 18 month old:

(She is also eating or drinking in nearly every picture I have of her, since that is when she is most likely to be still enough for a non-blurry photo.)

(Also she still FREAKING LOVES eating. She eats everything! I know it won't last, but for now it's still so fun - she demands in on anything adults are eating in front of her, will try virtually everything, and then actually enjoys like 90% of it. She has eaten [and enjoyed] foie gras, beef tartare, octopus, eel, truffled quail eggs.. it's silly. And awesome.)

I don't know the best way to recap 18 or so months into one blog post, so I guess we'll just do some highlights from the past few months? Eesh. I'm so sorry, future kid[s] looking for details on your childhood[s]...

So! I left off at around 5 months. Juliette learned to sit up quite early, especially given that the weight of those cheeks probably made her awfully top heavy.

She was crawling by 6 months... but only backwards. So she got stuck under furniture a lot.

Once she figured out forwards though, it was on!

 ..except that almost immediately thereafter, she decided that bipdal was the only truly acceptable position for getting from point A to point B. Cue many months hunched over with sore backs while tiny fists gripped our fingers and Juliette stomped purposefully around, gleefully upright:

(I believe she had a grand total of like 3.5 teeth there, but still went to town on that corn on the cob)

The photo below doesn't serve a particular purpose in advancing this narrative, it's just a favorite from around this time.

Anyway! By around 11 months, she had had enough of our fingers and was tottering drunkenly around on her own like a fiend.

Then when she was 13 months old, in early October, we took her to Europe!

We had no idea what to expect from that trip and/or how bad of an idea it was going to be, but it was actually great. Baby jetlag is indeed terrible and should not be underestimated (especially since we were staying in places that were not compatible with any sort of cry it out methodology, so we had to just... stay awake with her so she wouldn't scream for the full two hours during which her little body was convinced it was Awake Time in the middle of the night).

But despite the jetlag excitement for the first several night, she did GREAT in terms of flexibility - we dropped her morning nap cold turkey in favor of touring around Paris each morning; she ate anything, anywhere, whenever we needed her to; we took a side trip to the Netherlands for a few days and she handled that like a champ; she really did sleep well, all things considered, AND even went back to her normal sleeping scheduled after just a day or two of adjustment once back in the States.

Back in the states, here she is at 14 months playing piano with one of her many boyfriends, William:

And then it was Halloween! I was *determined* to use my now-showing pregnancy as a component of a costume, since this will (in theory) be the only Halloween of my life during which I will be pregnant. So Juliette and I played up our respective bellies and went as truck driving rednecks. Clearly the obvious choice.

OK we should really speed things up here. Christmas happened again! It remains delightful with babies, especially since my MIL continues to outfit Juliette in hilarious/fantastic Santa themed outfits for the occasion:

Meanwhile, now, at nearly-18-months, she is talking non-stop. The only problem is we can only understand about 15% of it. She has a ton of individual words she can use properly in context. Many of them are food related, shockingly: 'nana, cheese, "ohnj" [orange], "bey" [berry], kakah [cracker]. "Bep," for those pouches of fruits/veggies, for some reason. She declares "CHEEZ" and demands you clink glasses with her (then drinks heartily, and goes "aahhhhh!!"). She has the basics like "mama," "mo" [more] and "bye bye" (although that has now been truncated to one sassy "byeee" more recently), "baw" [ball] and of course "NO!" She also has a weird affinity for accessories, and gets super hyped about 'ocks!!!! every day, as well as shuss! gacket! and hat!! (all of which are said, every time, with at least that many implied exclamation points). She LOVES taking medicine (!?) and calls it "mey-mey." She says "on" clearly, but has this little gutteral noise, like "ock" but with more phlegmy chutzpah, and that is used for virtually every other pronoun (off, out, open) so it's hard to know what she's requesting when she starts chanting it. And meanwhile, she is chattering in what sound like full sentences most of the time, we just have no idea how to decipher most of it.

She says "cat" and calls Oliver and Bella by name, although you have to reeallly know what to listen for with those ("Ah-ya-ya" and "BEH," approximately). She can tell you what sound several animals make, and can point to her eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, ears, belly, and toes when asked. She learned gentle ("gen-teh") very early because of our constant imploring of gentle pets to the cats, and says "peess" and "tack oo" very well - although please only when prompted, and thank you usually preemptively, when she wants something from you. Like she'll hold out a dirty tissue she just blew her nose with while announcing TAHK OO to notify you that you will be taking it from her. So polite. Ha.

And now, she can say "baby" (and knows what one is) and will point to my belly when we ask her where the new baby is... although I doubt she quite understands that a REAL BABY will be joining us, like... permanently.

And so! Speaking of this new baby! This pregnancy has been MILES easier and less fraught than Juliette's, thank the tiny baby jeebus. Although I am no less... giant. This is last week, at 34w.

I am now into week 35 and people have started asking when I'm due (clearly expecting me to say, like, "next week!") and then regularly following up with "OH. Are you sure there's just one in there??!" when I explain that I still have 5+ weeks to go. HAHA SO FUNNY YES YOU'RE TOTALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO'S MADE THAT JOKE TODAY HARDY HAR.

(I also had my first aggressive belly-rub this weekend, out of both pregnancies! I went for a pedicure, and one of the nail salon ladies just swooped right in and didn't just like PAT my belly, but was legit RUBBING IT LIKE A LAMP. It was super weird and I did not like it.)

Anyway! I had a sono last week for the first time since... about 25 weeks, I guess? I was having my normal ob checkup and the doctor was measuring/feeling my belly and suddenly goes, "um, how big was your daughter?" When I told him (8 lbs, 10 oz) he nodded knowingly and said, "ah. yeah. you've got another big one in here." That was confirmed by last week's sonogram, which ADDITIONALLY confirmed that I've got another case of the Perhaps Too Much Fluids sloshing around in there, which is irritating because I once again tested negative for gestational diabetes (the usual cause of polyhydramnios) and because they assured me that having poly in my first pregnancy did not make me any more likely to develop it again this time. Meaning that if my fluid levels ARE actually in poly territory again, that would mean I developed it randomly BOTH TIMES despite having a ~2% chance each pregnancy.

I really can't complain though, because even if it is poly, is has presented FAR later in pregnancy this time, and has caused me far less grief. The excessive swelling of my extremities (that started by about 24 weeks last time!) has not been present this time, nor have the near-constant Braxton-Hicks contractions of the last pregnancy. With Juliette those kicked in by 24 weeks as well and were... kind of extreme. I regularly had an hour+ of B-H contractions 5 minutes apart with her. For WEEKS. And there was that awful thing where literally any time I was standing, I was contracting. Just one giant sustained contraction the entire time I was upright. That is not happening this time! It's much better!

This entire pregnancy really has just been... easier. I haven't had as many tests with stressful and questionable outcomes; I haven't been in nearly as much pain & discomfort; and this baby is far less... well, "violent" is the word that comes to mind. Carrying Juliette felt a bit like being assaulted from inside my own body for 10+ months. This just feels like.. I guess it feels like being pregnant. I understand now why most people don't dread pregnancy quite so much. They don't have to be terrible! This is obviously uncomfortable, but it's not this like dramatic Thing I Have To Put Myself Through that is 10 months of suffering.

Let's just hope that baby boy here isn't saving all of his methods of making us suffer until after he's out, I guess :)

So, a doula, huh?

(Quick update after this week's appointments: I am still exactly 0cm dilated, to my ob's surprise and bafflement, especially considering the sizing scan at the antenatal specialist Wednesday morning put baby girl at 8lb 5oz.

Me, to sono tech: Wait, 8lb 5oz RIGHT NOW??!!
Sono tech: Yep.
Me: OH GOD BABY YOU NEED TO COME OUT SOON.
Sono tech, sympathetically: The meds they can give you are REALLY strong these days.

Fluid went down a teensy bit, putting me now at the very upper limit of "normal," which I'll happily take. Everyone - from my ob, to the sono tech, to the antenatal doctor - commented on my "cervix of steel" - having an 8+ lb baby consistently head down on the lady bits plus weeks and weeks of extra fluid should really have resulted in something going on down there. It's the whole reason I was at risk for pre-term labor in the first place! But all concerns turn out to have been moot, because cervix o' steel will not open up even the slightest wee bit to allow a baby out, apparently. COOL.)

I realize I just sort of casually tossed into a few posts that I was working with a doula, and since a few people in my Offline Life have asked why I chose to have one and how I chose this one in particular, (which were questions I had myself before picking one!) I figured it might be useful to share why I ended up with one, personally.

I've read and heard a lot of stories about women - first time moms, especially - who felt that their labor & delivery sort of got away from them, in one sense or another: they were pressured into a drug or a procedure (or even just a position, like staying in bed) because they simply didn't know they had other options, or that they were allowed to push back on the doctors and nurses. And I mean, why would you? I certainly will not be the most experienced person in the room when I'm trying to push a baby out, so why wouldn't I assume that the people who ARE the experts know what they're talking about when they tell me I need to start pitocin immediately, or whatever any particular directive may be? I don't know what I don't know, and I certainly don't know what my options are at any given time (and how reasonable those options even are, given how progressed I am or what complications might be present).

Basically, I am not confident that I can be my own best advocate in that situation. The thought of having someone else there who can be an advocate for me - who is also extremely knowledgeable about labor and birth - is extremely appealing. Because while Chris will of course be there, and extremely willing to advocate for me, it's not like he knows any more about this process than I do.

I want to make sure things are explained to me as they happen. I want to make sure I'm given all of my options, not just the one that a particular doctor or nurse prefers at the moment. I want to have someone supporting my labor, in addition to the excellent doctors and nurses who are working hard to get my baby out as efficiently and safely as possible. And if that person can also help physically coach me through labor? Even better!

(As one friend put it: you can always go to the gym by yourself and work out, and everything will be fine and you'll get exercise. But if you go to the gym and work out with a trainer, you will get a WAY better workout, learn a lot more, be confident you have the correct form, etc. I want a trainer!)

So once I decided on a doula, I was pretty lost on how to actually... get one. As per usual, google was my solution. I googled doulas in the area, read some reviews when I could find them, got some basic pricing info when available to get a sense of how much this would cost (incidentally: A LOT) and then reached out to two different practices to set up an intro call. The intro calls were all pretty similar, so I moved forward with one based pretty solely on feeling slightly more comfortable / friendly with her after chatting and after confirming that they offered a program that I thought would meet my needs.

The practice I went with actually assigns two doulas to each woman, so that you don't end up with a backup doula you aren't familiar with if two women go into labor at the same time, or whatever. They  came by for an intro visit at the beginning of the process, then more recently for a few hours after work to talk through what to expect when I go into labor, how to recognize the various stages, how Chris can help, when to call them, etc. We also talked about my birth plan (such as it is) so they know my preferences and can help push for them, if possible, at the hospital.

Ultimately, it's probably just a way to help me feel a tiny bit of control in a situation where I have verrrryyy little, but I'm ok with that.

Exit planning

OK! Enough wallowing and complaining! Let's talk about getting this fiesty little gal out.

(The wrap is very definitely helping, incidentally, which is hugely contributing to my ability to actually stop complaining about my abs for 30 seconds. We're down to "sharp pointy stick" pain instead of "hot searing poker ripping through muscles" so that's a pretty good downgrade. Yay hippie fixes!)

Last week at my ob/gyn appointment, right around 37w2d, my doctor had a frank discussion about Getting The Kid Out. With polyhydramnios, there are some potential complications to take into consideration, especially if my water were to break on its own. It appears that with so much fluid up in there, if it were to all rush out in one big gush, it could essentially sort of sweep out more than one would like - for example, accidentally detaching the placenta in the process, or what my doctor was more specifically worried about, umbilical cord prolapse. This is when part of the umbilical cord slips out - like, literally, is hanging down outside your body - which is Extremely No Bueno. Since it's the one and only lifeline to the baby while kiddo is still inside the body, once a loop of it pops out and is subsequently pinched by the cervix (especially during, say, contractions) it cuts off all oxygen to the baby. This is Incredibly Super Serious and requires an immediate emergency c-section - and you can imagine, if this happens at, say, work or home and not while already in a hospital, there is often not enough time to call 911, have the ambulance arrive, get to the hospital, and THEN have the surgery.

(WARNING: THIS PARAGRAPH IS KIND OF GRAPHIC YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP IT. I did some potentially ill-advised googling on cord prolapse once I got home, to see exactly what I was dealing with and also because knowledge and information are good for me in situations like this, and.. yikes. The [very few] stories I found of babies surviving cord prolapse in a non-hospital environment all had one thing in common: a) the mom had to realize both what was going on and the severity of the situation immediately [a vote of confidence in googling info!] and b) had to have another party literally shove the umbilical cord back into her uterus and HOLD IT THERE, MANUALLY, until they got to the hospital and could have surgery. I mean quite literally have someone with a hand INSIDE HER UTERUS holding the cord in there. So. Good to know. I let Chris know his job in this eventuality; he's thrilled excited ...aware.)

So spontaneous water breaking: not what we want! On the other hand, I am laughably un-dilated at the moment. Despite having Braxton-Hicks contractions regularly since 24 weeks, as well as an irritable uterus that responds with a sustained contraction any time I'm standing or walking, and regular bouts of every-five-minutes-for-at-least-an-hour contractions even while lying down.... none of the contractions are "productive" in the sense that they're having any effect on the ol' lady bits. Meaning I am not a "favorable" candidate for induction at the moment: if they were to induce me, my doctor's opinion is that it would be slow, grueling, painful, and still likely result in a c-section because my cervix is just not interested in letting a baby out right now.

This left him very torn as to what his plan was for me. Ideally I should have this baby before 40 weeks, because apparently the poly risks continue to go up as I go overdue; if they try to force the baby to come out early she will probably not cooperate without a c-section. The ABSOLUTE best case scenario would be for me to go into labor on my own sometime in the next 2ish weeks (not caused by my water breaking) although I am not holding out a lot of hope for that: both my sister and I were prettttty overdue as babies, and I don't know a lot of other first time moms who went early. Also I have the least cooperative possible kid in there. So his official plan was to not make an official plan yet, and to wait and see how I looked at my next weekly appointment, which - yay! - is today.

In the meantime, I did get an excellent piece of news at my weekly antenatal appointment late last week (I'm still going in 1x/week - separately from my weekly ob/gyn visit - for an NST and a sono to measure fluid levels): my fluid went DOWN significantly for the first time since they started monitoring it, so I'm now *barely* considered to be poly! I'm hoping this means the prolapse risks are also significantly down, and that it will also put my ob/gyn more at ease in allowing me to go over 40 weeks. I mean, talk to me once I AM over 40 weeks and I suspect I may be singing a different tune (one that sounds a lot more like GET BABY OUT NOW I DON'T CARE HOW SHE NEEDS TO BE EVICTED) buuuut over here on the non-overdue side of 40 weeks, in theory I would like to let things happen as naturally as possible and have my body go into labor naturally rather than via induction. (Everyone who has ever gone over 40 weeks, please feel free to laugh uproariously at me.)

So! The hope is still that I go into labor myself in the next just-under-two-weeks, but if not, going over 40 weeks may now be a more viable option. Or maybe I'll find out I'm dilated at my appointment today (HAHAHA yeah probably not). No matter what, I don't expect Contrary Baby to choose an easy exit - she's been having too much fun causing us stress for the entire pregnancy; I don't envision her birth going a different route :)

37 weeks and counting.. and only mostly broken

Before I got pregnant, I always joked that I was prettttty sure I was going to be terrible at pregnancy. Like, my body sucks at... well... most things. Life. Not breaking any time I play sports. Not burning to a crisp if there is sun shining somewhere on Earth at any given time. You know.

So I have honestly been pretty impressed with and proud of how my body has handled things. I'm growing a PERSON! And aside from the early OHSS situation, it isn't killing me! And sure, I've had a lot of abnormal test results and lots of scares and conditions that only 1% of people get, but they've all actually turned out OK and I made it to 37 weeks a few days ago, which means my doctors no longer consider me pre-term and WE DID IT, BODY, we sustained a baby for 37 weeks and it didn't kill us!

I am officially rescinding that statement. My body is, in fact, the worst.

To be fair, I suspect this is not an uncommon sentiment for 37-week-pregnant women. This is not a particularly... comfortable time in one's life. I have 30 extra pounds dragging on my joints all day every day. I've got a large kid AND way too much fluid in there. It's currently 100 degrees outside with a heat index of 112. I'm not supposed to feel awesome.

There's a difference, though, between "not awesome" and "jesus christ, body, can we just fucking handle this like everyone else for once!?" - which is where I am at the moment. Because apparently my stupid body can't just get sore and achy like normal pregnant women. No, for me, the abs under my ribs on the right side of my body? feel like they are being ripped in half, at virtually all times.

This is not normal pregnancy aches and pains. I HAVE normal pregnancy aches and pains, plenty of them. Trust me. This feels like a hot poker being stabbed through my skin into my organs. Repeatedly. The area is inflamed and tender to the touch on the outside of my body. If I engage that muscle - say, to try and turn over in bed - the pain shoots to acute levels that make me involuntarily cry out in pain. This is not heartburn or round ligament pain, which after much googling, is what virtually every woman who has experienced this symptom was told by their ob/gyn - or had it shrugged off as just one of those pregnancy pains we all need to go through, sorry! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(I got the exact same reaction from my ob/gyn office, who typically is really great at listening to my individual concerns. But I get the impression that once you arrive at a certain point in pregnancy, they're so used to hearing women say they hurt that they dismiss everything at this stage as normal.)

I was worried about more than just the current pain, though: how the ^@#% was I supposed to push a baby out with abs that were already so damaged that I couldn't roll over in bed?? So I turned to my doula, who thank the tiny baby jesus, believed that this was a real thing above and beyond normal discomfort. And who confirmed that it actually IS possible to pull / strain the upper abs, especially as the ligaments that normally hold everything in place continue to loosen in preparation for getting the baby out. (She also confirmed that this is something I want to get resolved before I go into labor, because yes it will suck enormous ass to try to deal with labor with pulled abs. Cool!)

And, luckily, she had a suggestion on how to get resolution: a bengkung belly wrap. This was actually something she had preemptively suggested for my post-partum recovery (which is the much more common use) since she noticed I had diastasis recti, or separated abs. But the wrap can also be used much like a more traditional belly band - although for me, less as a way to relieve pain in the lower back, and more to provide a kind of corset on the bottom of my belly to keep it propped up without as much pull and strain at the top of my stomach.

It's also really hard to get a picture of that front knotted part because it's way down under my belly.

..but hopefully you get the idea.

So, how's it working? Decently, I think. I wasn't sure it was doing too much at first, but then I didn't wear it all day Sunday and OH MY GOD THE PAIN by the end of the day. SO MUCH PAIN. So I definitely know it's at least stopping the situation from getting WORSE, which is good. I still have fairly constant pain, but it's more of a burning than an acute tearing feeling - like, as if I did indeed get stabbed by a hot poker, and it hasn't healed yet.. as opposed to the poker continuing to stab me repeatedly. Yay?

I'm still pretty worried about how this will work for the whole labor situation. Will it make labor even more unbearable than normal? Will labor pain totally overpower this, but when I finish birthin' the kid, learn that I have done serious / irreparable damage to the area? WHO KNOWS! Hopefully I can just get the region back to a slightly less inflamed / on fire place before I need to find out. Hashtag magical time.

The saga of the crib mattress

Back in early June, I was preparing our house for our baby shower / housewarming, and I was figured it was high time to start getting the nursery put together so that we could pretend like we were somewhat prepared for a baby. Chris's cousins had generously bought us a crib from our registry, and we had a dresser and nightstand from IKEA, so that seemed like a good start. We put all the furniture together, and I ordered a crib mattress, liner, and sheets off of Amazon so that we could have the crib looking fully assembled and ready to go.

Everything arrived within a day (thanks, Amazon Prime!) ... except the mattress itself. Which continued to not arrive every day leading up to the party, then eventually was given a revised arrival date of the Monday after the party. So you know, not particularly helpful, and hard to make the nursery look cute and ready for a baby without a mattress in the crib, but whatever - many many weeks until I'd actually need a crib anyway, so meh.

Except then the mattress *continued* to never show up. Like for another week. So eventually I called UPS, since I had a tracking number for the package, to ask what's up.

UPS: Ah - we never actually received that package at all.  

Me: But there's a tracking number! 

UPS: Yeah - they assigned one at the Amazon warehouse, but then never actually provided the package to us for delivery. You'll need to call Amazon, unfortunately. 

So I called Amazon next, and repeated what UPS had told me.

Amazon: Oh man, this package is really late, I'm so sorry. Well, it looks like it's been misplaced in the warehouse, and there's not much we can do about that really. I'll give you a refund for this one and your best bet is probably to just order a new one.  

Me: But.. it's in your warehouse? Can't we just... ask the warehouse to give it to UPS? 

Amazon: Unfortunately I have no way to contact the warehouse directly, and if it hasn't gone out to UPS after all this time, it means the warehouse has lost track of it too. I'm really sorry. ...Refund?  

Me: Yeah OK fine. 

So they process the refund; I waited like a week just to see if the warehouse would magically get their shit together and send the mattress... but nope. So I went back to Amazon and ordered the same crib mattress again. It was scheduled to be delivered on Tuesday.

It did not show up on Tuesday. Or Wednesday. And the order status on Amazon changed to the same vague "on the way!" status that it gave me last time, while keeping the expected delivery date of July 5.

On Thursday I called Amazon again and asked for the UPS number so I could track the package, since that information also never showed up in my order for some reason. I looked up the number on the UPS website and was relieved to see that this time it had indeed left the warehouse, had arrived in MD on July 4th, and then was scanned in at the regional shipping center in VA early on the 5th. The status was "in transit" and the delivery date was that same day.. although oddly the status was NOT "out for delivery." I figured it would be there when I got home yesterday.

It was not.

So today, Friday, I called UPS to ask what the deal was: why had it been 10 minutes away in Chantilly since 8am Tuesday morning but never delivered?

UPS: Hmm. It looks like it's lost in our warehouse.  

Me: ARE YOU SERIOUS.  

UPS: Yes, sorry. And since this is an Amazon shipment, you'll need to contact them to start the investigation process. 

Me: Why would Amazon be able to do anything about it if it's lost in YOUR warehouse? 

UPS: That's just how the process works - they'll start the investigation and will probably refund you your money.  

Me: I can't just like.. come to Chantilly and get it? 

UPS: Well, no, we probably don't actually know where it is. Or the label may have fallen off or something.  

Me: ......... 

UPS: Sorry. I would call Amazon.  

Me: FINE. OK. 

Soooo I did. And Amazon has once again kindly refunded me the money for the mattress.

Amazon: Is there anything else I can help you with?  

Me: Not unless you have any suggestions on how to ACTUALLY GET THIS MATTRESS TO MY HOUSE at some point!?

(I didn't actually say that. Amazon customer support has been super polite every time and getting the refunds has been quick and painless.)

So I mean, I get that having a crib ready to go is not, like, the highest priority right now: I don't even have a baby to put in it yet, and even once she's born it's not like she'll need the crib for the first several weeks anyway. HOWEVER. It would be nice to be able to actually get her nursery looking presentable and ready, and also WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DELIVER ME THE DAMN MATTRESS I HAVE ORDERED TWICE NOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I can't get over that two different mattresses have now been lost by two different parties in two different warehouses. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN. They are not small packages. I AM VERY SHOUTY ABOUT THIS.

Annnyway. I'm already grumpy today because my contractions have ramped up to Very Annoying Level, in that as of about a week ago I have a sustained contraction for the entire time that I am standing up, literally any time that I am standing up. And as of last night, the newest development is additional stabby little contractions that woke me up repeatedly throughout the night, so I am feeling far from rested. The contractions continue to do nothing: I had another cervical check this morning and I'm still locked up tight. So I'm sore from contracting all the time, tired from contracting all night, annoyed that my body feels the need to contract this much if the contractions are not even DOING anything, and grumpy about the fact that there is a nationwide warehouse conspiracy preventing me from getting a crib mattress.

35 weeks and cranky.

But, um, other than that everything is fine. Baby girl continues to look good, I'm actually fine (just grumpy) and we're all in good health blah blah blah WHATEVER GIVE ME MORE DONUTS.

FTLOG, drama baby

So! Update again! *@&#%&@^$#!

After I got home from yesterday's visit, I was catching up on some work when I offhandedly noticed that my Braxton-Hicks contractions were ramping up a bit. Not particularly concerning; I've been getting them quite regularly since 24 weeks and I've been assured they are nothing to worry about as long as they don't increase in frequency/intensity.

By about 8, I realized that they hadn't let up in hours, and seemed awfully darn frequent, like... sort of constant. And they were awfully strong.

At 8:30, I decided to start timing them to see just how frequent they were. I timed them for an hour, during which I had 11 contractions, spaced almost exactly 5 minutes apart, ranging from 30 seconds to 1:30 each. Oh. Well. OK then.

(Now, these were still not "real" contractions - not like doubled over, can't talk, in pain contractions. They were still Braxton-Hicks level: my entire uterus would get tight and hard as a rock, and I would often find it easier to "breathe through" them while they were occurring, but certainly no level of pain that I would classify as problematic in any way. Still. Every 5 minutes seemed excessive. And the symptoms of pre-term labor are not necessarily the "you'll know it's labor!!" symptoms of full term - the primary one being "Four or more contractions in one hour, either with or without pain," which clearly I had far surpassed.)

Now, the sheet they had given me with info on the beta methasone shot did mention it could cause an increase in contractions. But like.. how much of an increase? Was this acceptable? How would I know?? So I called my doula, who suggested I try a hot bath and a large glass of water to see if that calmed them down. But she also said that if I could sleep through the contractions, they were incredibly unlikely to be pre-term labor. So I drank water and took a hot shower (I am not a bath person) and went to bed. And fell asleep! Success!

...only to wake up at 1am because my contractions had ramped up considerably. I now had a deep, menstrual-cramp like pain in my lower pelvis, and I could feel these contractions coming on before the actual tightening of the uterus: the crampy pain would start in my lower back and wrap around the front of my pelvis, then my entire uterus would seize up. These were a little less regular than the contractions earlier in the evening, but were still averaging around 5ish minutes apart. They did not increase in frequency or intensity, however, and by 3am I was able to fall back asleep, so ta-da! proof I was OK.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt.. awful. Completely unrested, still crampy, and the Braxton-Hicks contracts were still coming one on top of the other. My doula suggested I would have some sort of intuitive sense of whether I was truly in labor, but what the hell do I know!? The descriptions of pre-term labor are, like, entirely symptoms that you can have at any other time, but randomly might also mean you're about to drop a baby. I decided to call my ob/gyn from my car outside of Starbucks before driving all the way to work to get their take on it.

Their take was: go to the hospital RIGHT NOW PLEASE we'll call to let them know you're on your way.

So obviously I burst into tears, went back home and hiccuped to Chris that I had to go to the hospital, and headed over. Chris was supposed to get on a flight in about 2 hours for important lawyer things, so timing could not have been better. He packed his bags in about 2 minutes and followed me to OB triage.

The good news: everything is OK. My contractions ramped waaaaay down the SECOND I was hooked up to monitors (OF COURSE) but they confirmed I was still having them every 10 minutes, which is still not exactly ideal. However, a second cervical exam in 2 days (OW AGAIN) showed that the troubling contractions, the ones which I'd had overnight and were engaging my lower pelvis, had NOT dilated me any further, which is excellent news. They did give me stern instructions to NOT WAIT should I get any more contractions like that in the future though, because those are the kind specifically designed by your body to cause dilation.

They tested me for a UTI while I was there too, since those can also cause contractions. And while I'm clear on that front, I am apparently dehydrated, despite drinking what I thought was plenty of water. Turns out you can actually drink a shitload of water but it's not always enough to hydrate you, because you pee it all out before it can seep in intramuscularly (...or.. something to that effect?). So I've been instructed to keep up with the water, but make sure ~50% of my daily liquid intake is in other forms, like milk or gatorade or lemonade.

Also I've been moved temporarily from pelvic rest to "only go to work and then come home and lie on the couch with your feet up and that is it" for the next week or so until my uterus can chill the eff out and stop being a dick.

SO. All in all, everything is fine (Chris even made his flight!) but GOODNESS, LITTLE LADY. (She, by the way, has looked "excellent" throughout all of this - she seems perfectly fine, strong heartbeat, no stress on her part, etc. Just doing a premature job of stressing out her POOR BELEAGUERED MOTHER, GAH.)

Even *I* wasn't expecting to have another update for you already

Well! Baby girl has a flair for the dramatic already. Lucky us.

I'm 32 weeks and 3 days along today. I went in for my follow up monitoring ultrasound, and was surprised to learn that I would also be getting my first non-stress test. This is a neat little test where they strap a few monitors to your belly and check the kiddo's heart rate (and mom's contractions, if any) over about 20 minutes. They also give you a little clicker that you push any time you feel the baby move or kick. Apparently after 32 weeks, the baby is supposed to have at least two "spikes" in heart rate in that amount of time, so that's one thing they check for. It started out very interesting (watching baby's heart rate progress on a monitor! Listening to her heartbeat and hearing a big THUD in the audio when she would flip up against or kick where the monitor was strapped!) and got very boring by the end.

Next was the sonogram, where they quickly determined that - sad trombone - my fluid levels had increased since last week. But also slightly concerning, my cervix was looking a little on the short side. So out came the dildo cam for a measurement of the cervix from up the hoo-ha, and yup - the ol' girl is down to about 1.7cm.

Now, this in and of itself is not necessarily an issue. Many women's cervixes begin to shorten slowly and steadily in the weeks leading up to birth. However, given the extra-large baby I have bouncing around on top of mine, plus the extra volume of fluid, plus the new-to-me-information that I had apparently had two contractions during the NST (!??)... I am now Seriously Officially At Risk for pre-term labor.

I subsequently got the privilege of my first cervical check to make sure I wasn't ALSO dilated (OW, and no, not more than a fingertip) so I'm not, like, currently in labor or about to have a baby spontaneously fall out of me.

But they don't want to take any chances in case I *do* go into preterm labor sometime soon, so next up was my first betamethasone steroid injection. This neat little shot is given to me (painfully, in the ass) but travels down to baby girl and helps her start creating a surfectant in the lungs which babies don't usually make on their own until about 34 weeks. It helps prevent respiratory distress syndrome should the baby come early. I got one shot in my right ass cheek today, and I go back for a second shot in the left ass cheek tomorrow. The effects of the steroid last about 2 weeks, at which point I'll be past 34 weeks and baby girl should hard at work maturing her lungs on her own at that point.

So, they're not saying I WILL to go into preterm labor shortly. Buuuuuut just in case I do, and just in case they can't stop it, these shots will give the little lady an even better chance at being OK on the outside and requiring less intervention in that scenario.

In the meantime, I'm on pelvic rest (mainly just means no fun things can happen in the bathing suit area, although a lot of my exercise routine is now out as well) but not bedrest (I'll take it!). I go back tomorrow for shot #2, then again next Tuesday for the next NST and sonogram. Goal: no updates between now and then. Stay calm and stay put, little lady.

Updated update

The chiro visit revealed that I totally had several ribs out. I mean, once again they were out BECAUSE of the baby, but you know. Fixable once again. Haaa.

(I am still actually really sore in that area, because a) ribs out and b) THE BABY WILL NOT STOP KICKING ME RIGHT IN THOSE RIBS, LIKE, ALL THE TIME, OMG HOW IS YOUR HEEL SO POINTY CHILD AND COULD YOU MAYBE SHIFT POSITIONS SLIGHTLY ON OCCASION TO KICK A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SPOT BECAUSE OOOWWWWWW)

Updates! (tl;dr: I am large and full of fluid. And baby.)

So! Brisk clap! I saw the high risk antenatal doctor yesterday, and have Many Updates.

• Polyhydramnios (excess fluid) diagnosis was reconfirmed. Normal fluid level (amniotic fluid index, or AFI) is between 5-25cm. Between 25-30cm is mild polyhdramnios; between 30-35 is moderate; and 35+ is severe. I'm at 29.6cm, so hanging by my fingernails in the "mild" classification. 
• Assuming I stay in the mild-to-moderate category, there's not much I can do or that the doctors will do, aside from monitor the bejeesus out of me. I'm now scheduled for weekly sonograms for the remainder of my pregnancy, to make sure I do in fact stay in this category. I don't need to go on bedrest or modify my exercise or anything at this juncture, which was a relief to hear. 
• But since there is still a very real risk of scary stuff like preterm labor and placental abruption (and oh hey STILLBIRTH) as complications should fluid levels elevate more, those weekly sonograms are a nice reassuring way to make sure I haven't suddenly veered into "severe" territory and put myself and baby girl at risk. Should that happen, that's when I suspect there would be some more concrete intervention, although I do need to confirm what that might look like. 
• But for now, they expect this to proceed normally and the mild polyhydramnios in and of itself should not prevent me from being allowed to go into labor naturally, have a vaginal birth, etc. 
• There's still no official "cause" at this juncture. (Oh yeah! I passed the 3 hour glucose test with flying colors. No diabeetus for me! But also means they can't easily explain my big baby / high fluid.) The doctor did say that roughly 50% of the time, polyhydramnios ends up being idiopathic, but she has seen an anecdotal correlation between big babies and too much fluid. They can't entirely rule out other known causes like chromosomal issues or an infection, but since I scored well in the first trimester screenings it remains a decently low probability. Anatomical issues can also be to blame, and many of those have been ruled out via the anatomy scans, but if the baby has trouble swallowing, for example, that would be tough to identify on an ultrasound. 
• (Did you know this?? That fetuses spend their days drinking the amniotic fluid to practice swallowing and digesting, then pee it right back out into more amniotic fluid? That is so cool / gross! So there's a chance baby girl is just, uh, an overabundant pee-er.)
• Oh! And another thing they're checking for on these new weekly sonograms will be baby position. Apparently, babies with so much extra fluid to float around in are not always the best at getting and staying in a head down position toward the end, since they basically have their own built in kiddie pool that they can luxuriously somersault all around in, unlike normal, cramped babies who aren't being spoiled with an extra large 24/7 day spa. 
• Speaking of all that space, the ultrasound technician did warn me to expect to get "very uncomfortable and distended" as the weeks go on. So that's super neat to look forward to! :-/ 
• (I got lots of great info and comments from the tech actually! She was lovely, kept telling me how adorable my unborn baby was, asked how often people inquire if I'm having twins due to my size [me: "FREQUENTLY!"] and let me know baby girl has a full head of hair right now [!!])
• And although on the Slightly Alarmingly Large side, right now baby girl is still well within predicted acceptable size ranges for squeezing out through my tortured lady bits ("You're looking at an 8- or 9-pounder, most likely," said the doc) so as long as she doesn't speed up her growth I can look forward to that.. uh..  exciting... experience. 
• On the other hand, if this were not an IVF pregnancy, they would move my date up by about 2 weeks and assume the early scans or my period math was off. However, because Science, we know exactly how old lady baby is, and so her +2 week sized noggin is just because she's big boned, darn it. 
• (Her head and her femur are measuring the SAME amount of ahead-edness at least, which is good, as it means she's proportionally large all over.)
• They did ask if the father was "really big" to help explain her size. 
• Me: he's like.. 6 feet-ish? 
• Them: oh, no, that's pretty normal, nevermind. 
• Basically they wanted to know if I'd copulated with Tormund Giantsbane. Obviously I would never do that, I don't want to mess up his budding relationship with Brienne of Tarth, duh.

The whole appointment was pretty interesting and informative overall, and it took place in the hospital where I'll be giving birth, so it's nice to get increasingly familiar with that complex. It more or less confirmed all the research I'd done on my own, and confirmed my (somewhat hopeful) suspicions that I was on the "milder" side of polyhydramnios for now, which I will happily take. 

Because my lands, I am already getting REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. And large. 

31 weeks. Belly button popped around 29.5

Thank the tiny baby jesus that they are still fine with me doing some light exercise, because I feel like my twice weekly workouts ("workouts," honestly - there is not exactly a lot of sweating going on these days; it's more resistance training and some yoga and balance work and a lot of grunting from me as I try to get up and down from the floor) are one of the only things keeping things from getting unreasonable. My hips and lower back are still doing OK (again, I credit my trainer with this 100%) but I've started to really run out of space in the torso area. My RIBS hurt, and I think it's because the lower ones literally are being squished by my bulbous midsection. 

(Although to be fair, the last time I assumed I was in fairly severe pain due to the natural but unfortunately immutable rigors of pregnancy, it turns out my entire hip was completely out of alignment and THAT was why I was having excruciating pain shooting up my back any time I was seated. I mean, pregnancy probably contributed to my hip going out of alignment in the first place, since that is not exactly normal for me, but my chiropractor was like "um, next time you're in intense pain for three weeks, COME SEE ME, DUMMY." [The dummy part was not technically vocalized, but we can assume he was thinking it.] My lower ribs have started to enter the "fairly excruciating" band of pain on a daily basis, so I'm headed to the chiro today after work to try and be less of a dummy if it's fixable again this time.)

Did I mention before that I was getting Braxton-Hicks contractions? Right at 24 weeks almost to the day, I got my first nice strong one, which was a little alarming at the time because it was the Monday right after we moved into the new house, and while I'd been very careful not to move anything heavy, I found it difficult to literally not lift ANYTHING AT ALL, because.. moving. But then I started getting contractions, at exactly the same week that all my baby listserves sent out Serious Newsletters about the dangers of pre-term labor and how to recognize the signs, so of course I was like OH NO I OVERDID IT WITH THE MOVE I RUINED THE BABY HALP OH NOOO. But no, just harmless ol' Braxton-Hicks! And I've had them reliably nearly every single day since. Still nothing painful (usually.. this is starting to change) and they're certainly not regular or consistent, but definitely present multiple times throughout the day. 

(Oh! The high risk doc did also say she often finds big ol' babies in excess fluid to be extra active [check] and have more early contractions [check], so that story checks out.)

(Other oh! Completely related to anything in the previous paragraphs, but I also learned from that doctor that the echogenic foci on the baby's heart - which they did another detailed examination of - while only found in 3-5% of pregnancies, within that range the percentage is much higher in babies of Asian descent, which obviously ours is. There is no real significance to this aside, I just found it interesting.)  

Meanwhile, the swelling of the lower extremities continues unabated. I am relieved on a daily basis that maxi dresses and flip flops are acceptable options, because a) I literally cannot fit into 95% of my shoes on any given day and b) maxi dresses are basically pajamas that have the added benefit of hiding the woeful state of my cantaloupes ankles. I've started to get what feel like killer shin splints, but googling informs me that no, it's likely just the constant pressure on my shin bone from the swelling as well that is making it sore. Which, frankly, makes far more sense than shin splints, since I would have had to participate in some sort of cardio activity to acquire those. 

I absolutely cannot complain about my skin and hair though. I will be so very, very sad to have to give them up after baby girl makes her exit. My hair looks about 20x better when I do LITERALLY NOTHING to it - I mean, seriously, I brush it after I get out of the shower, and then NOTHING ELSE - than it ever has pre-pregnancy, under any circumstance. It's glorious. It also never needs to be washed. As in, it starts to look greasy on day 6. DAY SIX OF NO WASHING IT. I mean. It's practically enough to make a gal find Jesus over here. 

Third trimester: it's complicated

Last weekend, at my friend Liz's baby shower, she asked if I thought I'd go early or late compared to my due date. I replied that I would be entirely confident that like almost all first births (as well as both my sister and I), this baby would show up late.... except for the fact that I had a nagging suspicion I wasn't out of the woods in regards to complications with this pregnancy, so that was the only scenario where I could see me giving birth earlier than August 13th.

I should stop saying crap like that. 

(I've mentioned how 3 of my really close friends were pregnant all at the exact same time, right? Through some ridiculously crazy twists of fate, all four of us got pregnant with due dates within four and a half months of each other. Despite it looking like we engaged in some sort of embarrassing teenage-style pregnancy pact, I assure you that is not easily accomplished with the fickle reproductive systems of one's mid-thirties, and it really did just happen to work out this way.)

At this point, we have one baby who has successfully made it out into the world; our next arrival is due July 4th weekend; #3 is scheduled for the first week of August; and I'm bringing up the rear with my August 13th due date. 

So when we took this photo last weekend at the shower, I was somewhat alarmed to see that I looked not only like the most-pregnant lady remaining, but also like I was giving birth sometime way sooner than mid August: 

Also yes, I'm like 6" taller than all of my friends. 

Everyone assured me it was just the angle, but I remained suspicious of the largeness and in chargeness of that belly. 

Fast forward to Tuesday, when I had a 28 week level II ultrasound scheduled. (Oh yeah: back at my 20 week anatomy scan, they found a few exciting anomalies: some choroid plexus cysts [CPCs] in the brain, and two echogenic foci on the heart. CPCs can be a soft marker for Trisomy 18 [very very bad chromosomal anomaly], but often only when in the presence of other fairly clear anatomical markers like clenched fists due to finger malformations, and anomalies with the heart. While that was quite unlikely for us since the hands and other parts looked fine, the addition of echogenic foci apparently moved us from a possibility of Trisomy 18 to a possibility of Down Syndrome. Counter-however, since we'd had a Verifi test done in the first trimester - a blood test that measures your risk of chromosomal disorders in the fetus - and that came back with really reassuring results, like a 1/10,000 risk, my doctors weren't overly concerned with the findings and urged me not to be either. Easier said than done, naturally, but my only choices were to freak out or to try and put it out of my mind, so I went with #2. Anyway, this 28 week scan was ostensibly to check up on the cysts and foci, but primarily to see if any new markers had presented themselves, since both the continued presence OR the disappearance of either the CPCs or the foci means virtually nothing: if they still presented, it was fine and normal; if they had gone away, that was fine too, but is also a normal outcome even if the baby did have T18 or Downs. So. Very informative screening in other words. Did I mention that only like 1-3% of fetuses have these markers in the first place? Because of course. Also the probability I was going to get OHSS!)

So back to this week: the cysts had disappeared (good slash meaningless!) and the two foci on the heart were still there but so small they have no anatomical implications, so thumbs up to all of that in the sense that nothing got worse / bigger / multiplied. But after doing enough of these, I'm starting to pick up on some cues, so I noticed the technician got a little quiet while measuring the volume of amniotic fluid in my uterus. "Fluid look OK?" I asked. "Oh yes," she replied. "It just looks like there might be a lot of it." 

Then she started measurements on the kid's skull, and began muttering to herself. She redid the measurements about four times, before finally admitting defeat and commenting that our baby had a big head. She measured the femur too, and concluded it's just a big ol' baby overall. She estimated the size at nearly 31 weeks (rather than where I was, 28w 3d) and about 3 lb 6 oz, whereas my weekly baby newsletters were telling me 28 week old fetuses should be about 2lb 4oz. "Do you have diabetes?" she asked me, skeptically. 

I had actually JUST gotten the results from my gestational diabetes test the day before - I passed (meaning no diabetes!), but by the skin of my teeth: you're fine if your score is 135 or below, and I snuck through with a 134.  

So! I talked through all of these results with my ob/gyn. Having a big baby and too much amniotic fluid is indeed most commonly caused by diabetes (gestational or otherwise) so despite technically passing my 1 hour test, I get to go back for the big mama 3 hour test this week where you drink even more of an even glucose-ier drink, then get blood drawn once an hour for three hours to monitor your body's ability to process sugar over time. Apparently the placenta is quite the insulin hog, which is why pregnant women can develop diabetes temporarily - just while the placenta is stealing all your insulin. Plenty of people also just have babies that measure big at some point but "even out" over the course of the pregnancy, or just have big babies in general and it's not a problem, etc. If I do have gestational diabetes, I'll likely just need to make some modifications to my diet, keep up with light exercise, and keep close tabs on my blood sugar level to make sure it remains in check.

It sounds like the more problematic result is the excess fluid levels. Polydramnios - which, you guessed it, is only present in 1% of pregnancies! - can be the result of anatomical abnormalities in the fetus (like an esophageal obstruction, meaning the baby isn't swallowing any fluid; not the case with us); can be diabetes-related; or can just develop for unknown reasons. The problem is that it can lead to some fairly serious complications, like preterm labor, having your water break prematurely, placental abruption, umbilical cord prolapse, hemorrhage post birth, or even stillbirth. Which means I earned myself a referral to a high-risk specialist for a consult, and depending on their assessment, may end up with a higher level of monitoring for the rest of the pregnancy. We'll see though - I have the 3 hour test this week, and the high risk specialist in two weeks, so I'll know more after that. 

As it stands, though, I feel fine right now: I don't have any [other] symptoms of diabetes, and the fluid levels aren't excessive enough to cause shortness of breath or trouble breathing or anything. (Remind anyone of OHSS much!? Apparently if the fluid levels do get too high, one potential treatment is incredibly similar as well: they go in with a needle to drain out fluid to relieve some pressure. Been there done that, baby!) 

I do feel pretty vindicated about that picture up top, though. I have medical proof that I am huge! (The ob/gyn's old school belly-measurement put me at 32 weeks, over THREE weeks ahead. I am definitely bellying it up in here.)  

Into the third!

Oh man, second trimester, am I right? ::wistfully looks backwards in time::

I'm one whole week into the third trimester now - so you know, basically a pro - and I already can tell this is going to be... interesting? Not as awesome? Challenging?

Yesterday, at 1 day shy of 28 weeks. Stretching out and ruining non-maternity clothes because it is still inexplicably in the 50s and raining here EVERY DAMN DAY. WHY SPRING WHY WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO ANGER YOU SO. 

A few weeks ago - right around when we moved into our new place - I started getting these paralyzing, shooting pains through my right butt cheek. At first, I thought I had pulled my glute from all the squatting I'd been doing while packing (since bending over from the waist has become increasingly uncomfortable / impossible) but realized that there was no actual strained muscle to rub that would offer relief. After some research I concluded it was most likely my piriformis muscle, which is a wee muscle waaay under the glute that is next to (or intertwined with) the sciatic nerve. Which often gets strained or compressed due to the shifting pelvic alignment of pregnancy. Well! There you go. Luckily that only lasted about a week and a half, because there's not a whole lot you can do to treat or relieve that particular pain.

This was only 25 weeks, but at a day-long conference in downtown DC. My options for Preggo Business Wear are, uh, limited, to put it mildly. That tight white tank was not doing me any favors in the size olympics. 

Unfortunately, that transitioned into more traditional sciatic pain, and I now have a near-constant tight pain in my right lower back any time I'm sitting. Which is.. kind of a lot, considering I sit at a desk all day. I did get myself one of those exercise ball doohickeys though, and I spend about half my day bouncing around on that, which seems to help a little.

27 weeks. I took the picture on the right, then had a strong sense of deja vu.. and yup, I'd taken a virtually identical photo almost exactly a year prior. Total samesies, right? 

Other than my own literal growing pains, though, things continue to go pretty swimmingly. I'm more often just in a state of shock & dumbfounded-ness at my ever-increasing girth, and at the *violence* with which baby girl is moving around in there. "Active" seems to be an understatement for her. If I wasn't so sure there was only one of her in there, I'd assume she had recruited some friends for daily mosh pit sessions.

26 weeks. But the real excitement in this photo is I FINALLY GOT MYSELF A FULL LENGTH MIRROR!! 

I definitely miss the awesome renewed energy from the second trimester, though. That cut off dramatically, like a faucet being turned off, just days before officially hitting third tri. I now want to do nothing but lie on my couch with glazed eyes. Dragging myself to work every day seems challenging and unfair. I'm pretty useless every night once I get home, especially if I manage to also make dinner before collapsing prone onto the sofa.

And I still have THREE MONTHS to go! This seems both insane (HOW MUCH BIGGER CAN MY BELLY PHYSICALLY GET) and alarming (ONLY THREE MONTHS? I WILL HAVE AN ENTIRE HUMAN CHILD IN 3 MONTHS?!?!?!) and I flip smoothly between these two reactions about 14 thousand times a day.

The first thing I (finally) bought for baby girl's nursery! It's a print of a paper cut by Sarah Trumbauer, and I loooooove it. If / when we ever pick a name for this kid, I want to get one of her custom versions with  her name included on it, too.

On the one hand, it's awfully good there are still three months to go because WOWZA are we not ready for her yet. We officially moved into the new house 4 weeks ago, and it's been a slow process getting everything set up & unpacked. We have a lot more house than we did before, so trying to figure out what to put where, how to distribute our now-seemingly-meager furniture supply between rooms, and ordering more furniture to fill the most egregious gaps, is slow going.

The cats testing out our new-to-us chaise longue, toted back last weekend from my parents' house in NJ

In a ridiculously well timed twist of fate, my parents ended up selling their house over a year before they initially intended to and are closing this weekend - meaning they had to downsize dramatically at exactly the same time we found ourselves with a new house with excessive storage space. And with a lawn and property that requires maintenance and care, but no tools with which to do so.

...So we went to NJ and loaded up a 15 foot UHaul with virtually the entire contents of their shed and storage room. BOOM. We now have a lawn mower! And a snow blower! And a circular saw, and a jigsaw, and like 12 other kinds of saws, and a power washer, and a power painter, and shovels and rakes and belt sanders and every other tool my dad bought over 40 years for house projects. It's kind of awesome.

Oh, and also the PIANO.

::heart eye emojis for days::

I need to find the box of piano books (oh. hmm. and figure out a storage solution for piano books!) and get playing for baby girl.

BUT, all of this means there has still been almost no focus on preparing for the whole BABY part of things. I did finally register, because my mom was getting increasingly alarmed at my inability to set a date for a baby shower, but I couldn't send out invites to a shower until I had a registry, and I had no time to research enough baby items for a registry soooo nothing happened for many weeks. BUT it is now done, invites have been sent, date is set, and I now get presents every day in the mail and it is VERY VERY FUN. Newsflash, guys: baby things are FREAKING ADORABLE! So many cute tiny articles of clothing are showing up on our doorstep!

And, uh, it all goes, still in the box, into the empty room that will be her nursery. Eventually. Once we buy furniture and stuff.

We're also holding the shower at our house - in exactly 4 weeks - so we're using that as incentive to get our asses in gear in terms of finalizing the house layout and acquiring the bare minimum of furniture (and, say, getting backsplash tile installed in our kitchen after having half of the old stuff ripped out during counter installation) before then.

Testing out the size of the new, larger dining room table we need for our new, larger, AWESOME communal living/dining space at the new house. 

Luckily, I am a great help around the house right now and have boundless energy! ...oh wait. Haaa.