July 08, 2016

The saga of the crib mattress

Back in early June, I was preparing our house for our baby shower / housewarming, and I was figured it was high time to start getting the nursery put together so that we could pretend like we were somewhat prepared for a baby. Chris's cousins had generously bought us a crib from our registry, and we had a dresser and nightstand from IKEA, so that seemed like a good start. We put all the furniture together, and I ordered a crib mattress, liner, and sheets off of Amazon so that we could have the crib looking fully assembled and ready to go.

Everything arrived within a day (thanks, Amazon Prime!) ... except the mattress itself. Which continued to not arrive every day leading up to the party, then eventually was given a revised arrival date of the Monday after the party. So you know, not particularly helpful, and hard to make the nursery look cute and ready for a baby without a mattress in the crib, but whatever - many many weeks until I'd actually need a crib anyway, so meh.

Except then the mattress *continued* to never show up. Like for another week. So eventually I called UPS, since I had a tracking number for the package, to ask what's up.
UPS: Ah - we never actually received that package at all.  
Me: But there's a tracking number! 
UPS: Yeah - they assigned one at the Amazon warehouse, but then never actually provided the package to us for delivery. You'll need to call Amazon, unfortunately. 
So I called Amazon next, and repeated what UPS had told me.
Amazon: Oh man, this package is really late, I'm so sorry. Well, it looks like it's been misplaced in the warehouse, and there's not much we can do about that really. I'll give you a refund for this one and your best bet is probably to just order a new one.  
Me: But.. it's in your warehouse? Can't we just... ask the warehouse to give it to UPS? 
Amazon: Unfortunately I have no way to contact the warehouse directly, and if it hasn't gone out to UPS after all this time, it means the warehouse has lost track of it too. I'm really sorry. ...Refund?  
Me: Yeah OK fine. 
So they process the refund; I waited like a week just to see if the warehouse would magically get their shit together and send the mattress... but nope. So I went back to Amazon and ordered the same crib mattress again. It was scheduled to be delivered on Tuesday.

It did not show up on Tuesday. Or Wednesday. And the order status on Amazon changed to the same vague "on the way!" status that it gave me last time, while keeping the expected delivery date of July 5.

On Thursday I called Amazon again and asked for the UPS number so I could track the package, since that information also never showed up in my order for some reason. I looked up the number on the UPS website and was relieved to see that this time it had indeed left the warehouse, had arrived in MD on July 4th, and then was scanned in at the regional shipping center in VA early on the 5th. The status was "in transit" and the delivery date was that same day.. although oddly the status was NOT "out for delivery." I figured it would be there when I got home yesterday.

It was not.

So today, Friday, I called UPS to ask what the deal was: why had it been 10 minutes away in Chantilly since 8am Tuesday morning but never delivered?
UPS: Hmm. It looks like it's lost in our warehouse.  
UPS: Yes, sorry. And since this is an Amazon shipment, you'll need to contact them to start the investigation process. 
Me: Why would Amazon be able to do anything about it if it's lost in YOUR warehouse? 
UPS: That's just how the process works - they'll start the investigation and will probably refund you your money.  
Me: I can't just like.. come to Chantilly and get it? 
UPS: Well, no, we probably don't actually know where it is. Or the label may have fallen off or something.  
Me: ......... 
UPS: Sorry. I would call Amazon.  
Me: FINE. OK. 
Soooo I did. And Amazon has once again kindly refunded me the money for the mattress.
Amazon: Is there anything else I can help you with?  
Me: Not unless you have any suggestions on how to ACTUALLY GET THIS MATTRESS TO MY HOUSE at some point!?
(I didn't actually say that. Amazon customer support has been super polite every time and getting the refunds has been quick and painless.)

So I mean, I get that having a crib ready to go is not, like, the highest priority right now: I don't even have a baby to put in it yet, and even once she's born it's not like she'll need the crib for the first several weeks anyway. HOWEVER. It would be nice to be able to actually get her nursery looking presentable and ready, and also WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DELIVER ME THE DAMN MATTRESS I HAVE ORDERED TWICE NOW I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I can't get over that two different mattresses have now been lost by two different parties in two different warehouses. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN. They are not small packages. I AM VERY SHOUTY ABOUT THIS.

Annnyway. I'm already grumpy today because my contractions have ramped up to Very Annoying Level, in that as of about a week ago I have a sustained contraction for the entire time that I am standing up, literally any time that I am standing up. And as of last night, the newest development is additional stabby little contractions that woke me up repeatedly throughout the night, so I am feeling far from rested. The contractions continue to do nothing: I had another cervical check this morning and I'm still locked up tight. So I'm sore from contracting all the time, tired from contracting all night, annoyed that my body feels the need to contract this much if the contractions are not even DOING anything, and grumpy about the fact that there is a nationwide warehouse conspiracy preventing me from getting a crib mattress.

35 weeks and cranky.
But, um, other than that everything is fine. Baby girl continues to look good, I'm actually fine (just grumpy) and we're all in good health blah blah blah WHATEVER GIVE ME MORE DONUTS.


  1. My word! I'm not a math person, but the odds of that happening have to be tiny! I don't blame you for being shouty. Are you going to order it a third time? I mean, either it's cursed, or it's so amazingly awesome that it keeps getting stolen...?

    I hope you feel better. Sending virtual donuts.

  2. I would have been all "MY BABY HAS NO PLACE TO SLEEP, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER" and then burst into tears and cried like a crazy person. That should do it. :)

  3. I HATE stuff like that - going back and forth trying to get the answer - then the answer not working. Did you go for #3?

    You poor thing! I wish you weren't having ALL the contractions! :(

  4. Seriously. It is hard to imagine this little parcel slipping down a crack. GIVE ALICE HER BABY'S MATTRESS!!

  5. Seriously? This saga has reached insanity-producing proportions. I'm wondering if the third time is the charm, but I'd go for it really, really soon.
    Even if UPS and Amazon are having trouble helping you get ready, it sounds as though your body is working overtime to make up for it. I hope all that practice exercise means a great labor experience!

  6. This would also cause me rage under ordinary circumstances, but it does seem like pregnancy makes dealing with annoyances five times harder. Sorry you have to deal with the bullshittery. (I still haven't ordered a single thing, nor researched anything, but... I have time, right? I think I'll be saying that at 35 weeks. Sigh.)

    1. Not sure if there is a (missed by me) pregnancy announcement somewhere, but CONGRATS!!! I saw a Goodreads book you added a while ago and wondered, but didn't say anything. But! CONGRATS! Yay! So happy for you and J!


  7. Well, this is some bullshit. All of it! The mattress, the contractions, all of it. Come on, everyone, get with the program!

  8. Nationwide mattress warehouse conspiracy!!! Give me a hashtag and let's get that shit trending!!

    Also, even though I'm laugh-crying at the ridiculousness, I am also really sorry you have to deal with that.


  9. FFS how ridonkulous! I'm sorry to hear about the mattress saga and the contractions. I have been having more contractions these last couple of days- do your best to sit down, put your feet up and drink water!