June 05, 2015

Hey! I'm already ready to complain about the appliances!

Well, not the appliances themselves. But the inspection process, which I did not know was a part of getting new appliances until this week.

So last Friday, the delivery guys showed up with our appliances and set about installing them. It all went very quickly and smoothly (from my end anyway) and when they finished, they asked me to sign off on everything being installed correctly & functioning properly, but oh PS, we can't actually hook up the oven because you need a special plumber for that due to the gas line.

I told them I was not going to sign off on an installed & functioning oven considering it was neither hooked up nor working, but they kind of shrugged and said there was no other option, and don't worry, a plumber would come "later" and finish the hook up.

Me: Later today?
Guys: Oh yes. Definitely. Should be.
Me: Um. Do you have a number I can call for this plumber?
Guys: No. He'll call before he gets here though. Don't worry.
Me: ::worries::

However, they were right, and about an hour later a plumber calls and says he's downstairs, can I let him in and he'll hook up the stove? So I do; he does; everything works; I write a happy blog post about my new appliances.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon, when I get a call from an unknown number. The woman says she's from the installation company, and wanted to check if everything was installed properly (yes!) and I was happy with them (yes!) and when would I like to schedule my inspection with the county (...what)?

We already knew our county requires a (pretty expensive) permit to install anything on the gas line of your house, because we had to pay for that when we bought the appliances. No one had mentioned that we also had to get a county inspector out to the house after the fact as well.

Lady on the phone: Do you have the permit?
Me: Yes. Well, not like physically. But we paid for it at Home Depot.
Lady: My guys didn't leave it with you?
Me: Uh, no. They only left a copy of the sign off sheet.
Lady: Oh. They should have. You need that. I'll mail it to you.
Me: Oh. Thanks?

Then: when would I like to schedule the inspection from the county? I could pick any time Monday through Friday between 9 and 5. Convenient for anyone who works!

I picked Friday and hoped my boss would be cool with me working from home AGAIN. I asked the woman what the next steps were - how do I confirm the appointment? When would I get a window narrower than "sometime Friday"? I was told the county would call me on Friday to confirm and to narrow down the window.

So today I have been working from my dining room table (which, incidentally, is 3 feet from my front door) waiting for a call from the county. By 11, no call, so I looked up the number of the installation company and called them. They had no record of me being on the list for inspections today, and suggested I call the county directly.

So I call the county, finally get a person, give my address... and I'm told that the inspector already came at 8:59 this morning and that we failed.

Me: I have been in my condo all morning and no one has entered it. How did we fail?
County: Well, the notes just say he came at 8:59, and that you failed. You can call him directly to get more information.
Me: UH OK.

So I call the inspector, three times.... who does not answer his phone and does not have voicemail set up on his phone.

I call the county back.

Me: Hi. I am trying to get in touch with my inspector who apparently failed my gas line without entering my house and does not answer his phone.
County: Well, looking at the notes on your record... he arrived this morning, and you have a locked front door to your condo, and he had no way of contacting you or getting in so he failed you and left.

To recap: I was supposed to get a call from the county this morning confirming my inspection window; instead the guy came, found a locked door, went ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and failed us. Even though he had my number, which he was supposed to use to confirm my inspection window... but did not use, either to confirm the window or to call me when he came across the most difficult of obstacles, A DOOR.

Me: He couldn't get through a locked door, so he just left?
County: He had no other options. How was he supposed to know how to get in?
Me: OMG. Can you please just have him come back? And suggest he call me when he gets to the door?
County: I'm sorry, there is no way we can get anyone back today.
Me: It doesn't have to be that guy. But I stayed home from work today for this; I need to get the inspection done today.
County: I'm sorry, there is no way that can happen.

This convo went on for another five minutes, but the government is not particularly known for caring about customer service, so too bad! Their employees do not have enough problem solving abilities to CALL A PHONE NUMBER they were ALREADY SUPPOSED TO HAVE USED, so I will need to stay home from work YET ANOTHER DAY sometime in the future. And hope that next time I get an inspector who, upon being unable to walk through a locked door, might make the staggering mental leap of using his phone to call my phone so as to work out a solution to this perplexing door contraption.

It's now technically after noon, and since I'm already working from home despite not having our gas line inspected, I assume it means I can start drinking immediately.


  1. This is MIND-BOGGLINGLY FRUSTRATING. My mouth was actually open. I had that cold-horror feeling of "This can't happen! This...can't happen! Right? I mean...right?"

    1. I am so angry. SO ANGRY. And it's the same woman at the county every time I called, and she was annoyed I didn't just accept her answer and go away, so she would CHANGE HER STORY each time to suit whatever would make me accept my fate and hang up the fastest. I want to murder things.

  2. It's either drinking or punching things, IMO. Horrible. Just horrible.

  3. OMFG OMFG OMFG. I was waiting for the RESOLUTION! At the end of the post! Where the guy came back, GOT THROUGH THE DOOR, and you passed your inspection! You just... you forgot to write that paragraph on the end, right?

    1. Seems like that would be the COMPLETELY RATIONAL conclusion, right?? The inspector came BEFORE my window even started, didn't call me, didn't come in, and left... but they REFUSE to have him come back! Or have him answer his phone! (Chris and I both called several times again.. he won't answer. Or set up vm.) Because somehow this is my fault and I need to be taught a lesson by the county?? (That is totally the tone I get from the county lady btw. It's doing wonders for my blood pressure.)

  4. What the hell is it with the government? "We don't care, because we don't have to. Nothing you can do will get through to us. You annoy us, and we wish you would go away." Argh! So annoyed for you!

  5. omg! How... how... GAH! Just infuriating! I'd definitely be drinking. Definitely.

  6. So good to know we should never get new appliances. :/ WHAT IN THE HELL?!

  7. ....you have got to be effing kidding me. This is a joke, right? You're being punk'd by the county? Is there some sort of supervisor you can complain to? Some kind of process to get a JUSTIFICATION OF THEIR DAMN BEHAVIOR?!

    omg, I am livid on your behalf. What a freaking nightmare.