and now! i don't have the europe pictures organized yet, but i do have HAIR UPDATES!!
christina brought me to this awesome woman in paris who spends the first 20 minutes of your appointment consulting with you about the shape of your face, and the lines of your neck and shoulders, and the proportions of your features, all of which dictate the type of cut you should have to best frame & accentuate your face. and it's all in this turn of the century, parisian townhouse, not your standard run of the mill salon.
this is the before picture. note how sad i am to have bad hair. :-)
getting the cut...
and voila! i have ze sexy frensh hair! with BANGS OMFG!
this is a little while later, when christina and i were posing with mannequins at the department stores.
i'm still getting used to it, because it is WEIRD AS CRAP to have hair touching my face all day long. i sort of feel like i'm wearing a wig, because the style is soo different, even without the bangs. and my hair is so much FULLER, even though she must have taken off like 50% of it. and, the most exciting part? my hair is wash and wear for the first time in my life. i haven't even blown it dry yet (partly because i was informed that i had to get a diffuser for my normal one, because my hair is so thin that it gets "battered" by the force of the hot hair, which makes it even limper than it should be. such an informative day, i tell you!). and she strictly instructed me not to use any hair products whatsoever, except a bit of face cream (!) rubbed into my hands and then lightly scrunched through my hair to prevent static. THIS IS AMAZING, FOLKS.
so! yay! hair! it is new! VERY VERY NEW. i think i like it. :-)
OMG!! Love, LOVE the haircut!!! You look so adorable! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if your poop floats? Does that mean something?
ReplyDeleteDear Della,
Judging by the number of times it is asked, this question is a source of great concern to the masses. The Floaters versus Sinkers controversy (hey, wouldn't those be great names for PoopReport basketball teams?) has been raging since time began... OK, since the Internet began... OK, since this morning.
WHAT MAKES POOP FLOAT?
Surprisingly, not what you might think.
Conventional medical wisdom attributes Floaters to the amount of fat in your poop. While this IS true for certain diseases (cystic fibrosis, celiac disease, biliary atresia, abetalipoprotenimia and a few other weird sounding illnesses), it is NOT true for your run-of-the-mill healthy person.
Vegetarians would have you believe that the "perfect" stool (that is, one uncontaminated by the consumption of animal parts) is the Floater. Many vegetarians have spent their entire lives in the quest to produce perfection -- when in fact no particular diet can reliably produce Floaters. The vast majority of us bring forth Sinkers.
Sinkers really need a good P.R. person -- they have gotten a bad rap over the ages. Sure, Floaters are cute and all, but a good solid Sinker will never let you down.
BACK TO WHAT MAKES POOP FLOAT...
Actually, it is gas that does it. Increased levels of air and gas in the poop make it less dense, and cause it to float. Simple as that. Dietary changes can lead to an increase in the amount of gas produced by the bacteria that live in the gut, which is probably what the vegetarians are basing their whole "perfect stool" theory on. I don't know -- the whole time I was vegan I never consistently produced Floaters.
Then, after a couple of years, I grew disenchanted and yearned for a hamburger. And that was the end of Poonurse the Vegetarian.
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Well, I'm a little unclear on that. It must matter greatly to a lot of people, or else they wouldn't take so much time to write to me about it. I guess it could matter if you are worried that you are sick or something.
If you have diarrheal-esque Floaters for more than two weeks, you may have a malabsorption problem -- a dysfunction of the GI tract that affects the body's ability to digest and absorb fat. Acute gastrointestinal infections can also result in increased gas content in the intestines, due to rapid movement of stool through the GI tract.
SO WHAT?
So I am forced to assume that Floaters are NOT the most desirable of all stools. Sinkers are by far more common. Don't spend your life chowing down on tofu burgers just because you think you are being cheated out of a Floater. Neither tofu burgers nor Floaters are worth the trouble. Sinkers are our destiny.
Thanks for asking Poonurse!
Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question for her?
LOVE the new hair-do! Maybe I should go to Paris and have this woman cut my hair, too?
ReplyDeleteBut, um, I sure was distracted by the anonymous Poo Blogger. Geez! Get a life! (not you, Alice...the poo-er!!)
OMG! You went to a visagiste! I did that once in france and it did not end NEARLY as well. Your hair looks awesome! (LOVE the bangs. Love.)
ReplyDeleteLOVE the hair, and what in the fuck kinda message is that by the anon writer?!
ReplyDeleteface cream?? in your hair?? blows my mind
ReplyDeleteOh, it looks charming! Well done you.
ReplyDeleteLook at you rocking out the short bangs. I never had guts to go with short bangs. You are my hero!
ReplyDeleteBangs look so great on you! And seriously where can I find somebody so smart about hair? I have no idea how to do mine. PONY TAILS ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
ReplyDeleteThat haircut is AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteI love it! It looks great! :)
ReplyDeleteI like it! I got bangs again about 8 years ago, after swearing I'd never get bangs again.
ReplyDeleteNever say never. :)
what's up with the poop comment?!? haha
ReplyDeleteregardless your hair looks great! and i love the mannequin pic!
You look verry frrench (rolling my "r"s to sound more french). Can't wait to see it in person!
ReplyDeleteBeddy nice!
ReplyDeleteLOVE the new hair! It looks great!
ReplyDeleteYour hair looks AWESOME! Such a great cut.
ReplyDeleteI picked you for an I ♥ Your Blog award. : )
ReplyDeletehttp://returntorural.blogspot.com/2008/11/blog-post.html
And AGAIN late to the party, but I do very much love the bangs! You are BRAVE for doing it, and for dealing with the hair-on-forehead issue that has kept me from doing any bangs for lo this many years.
ReplyDeleteIT LOOKS AWESOME! I can't wait to see it in person.
ReplyDelete