May 10, 2006

i kinda always knew i'd end up your ex-girlfriend

i didn't, actually. but these things happen, and that song has been running through my head nonstop for days now. i'm sorry i haven't been posting much. things have been weird with me. with things. off. and it was stuff i couldn't really talk about here because i don't have an anonymous blog. and i couldn't write blase, unrelated posts when i was feeling so twisted up. but it's over and done now (in more way than one) so voila, i am back, able to write a bit.

matt and i broke up.

it was my fault though, my doing, my decision. so please don't write disparaging comments about him in an attempt to cheer me up; he's not an asshole; he's not a jerk; he didn't hurt me. it's not his fault, really. i'm sad about the whole affair, but i do stand by my decision that it was the right one in the long run. i know he disagrees right now, but there's not much i can do about that.

so. um. i left some comments on people's blogs the past few nights that were written whilst emotionally wrecked and/or drunkish. sorry about those.

ah gwen. you are so hot. and a propos...


I found myself trying to change you
If you were meant to be my lover I wouldn’t have to

And I feel so mean
I feel in-between
Cause I’m about to
Give you away

I kinda always knew I’d end up your ex-girlfriend

18 comments:

  1. I've got "you're pretty good lookin for a girl" stuck in my head.

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  2. I'm sorry Alice... I know it is really hard, even if it was the right thing to do...

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  3. Doing the right thing is generally hard. It's definitely not your "fault" for breaking up with him -- there's no fault in looking out for yourself.

    Take care and feel free to leave me emotionally wrecked comments and emails!

    xoxo

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  4. Sorry to hear that Alice. Keep your chin up and feel free to write me to chat.

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  5. *hugs* doing the right thing is not always easy

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  6. That to bad Alice but on the brighter side Roxi has this question concerning Tootsie pops and I noticed you volunteered...people really do need to know the answer.

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  7. You SOUND strong even if you feel emotionally wrecked. And for that I admire you. Have some more wine, it's good for your heart.

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  8. it seems to be the season for breakups. I hear ya...

    it sucks when you find someone you care about but just aren't meant to be with them..

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  9. I was reluctant to post anything candid for a long time...but then I decided...screw it, what's the point of having a blog if you can't articulate your thoughts on it...so he respects that and promised not to visit my blog anymore. (The ex before HIM, however, has control/letting-go issues and STILL visits and leaves nasty comments...but I digress.)

    we were together for about a year...good while it lasted but you learn from it, you know? It's hard to put the knowledge that comfort isn't love into action but how you feel can't be wrong, so it must be for the better.

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  10. Ya, breaking up hurts. I think of my wife leaving me and I feel that same pain. Of course she's not, but I remember the feeling. It's not fun. But, it DOES get better. I'll send you a picture of my belly button if it makes you feel better. - That's supposed to make you laugh -

    ~Jef

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  11. Oh, Alice! I'm sorry. But just keep in mind that we're all here for you, whether you're drunk and emotionally wrecked or sober and contemplative...!! I guess there's a reason for everything, and you have to keep doing the next right thing in order to go on. Hang in there, cyber-bud!!

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  12. Oh I'm sorry to hear that! And here I am gushing on like a lovestruck goober!

    I've been there though, and I understand how you're feeling... I'm glad you were strong enough to do what you felt was right.

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  13. We've all been there and we know how much it can hurt. I'm sorry. But if you felt it was right to move on, it was right.

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  14. Sorry to hear about this, but I am sure you made the right decision. Hang in there hon.

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  15. When I broke up with a long-term bf back in the day, I sent an email to all and sundry with that information and the note that I wasn't ready to hear bad things about him.

    People were remarkably respectful about it.

    If he wasn't for you, then you did the right thing. Good for you.

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  16. Sometimes it's hard to make the right decision. Luckily you made it before you tied the knot.. if that was ever a possibility!
    JD

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  17. My jaw just hit the floor. I'm so sorry.

    My heart is aching for you.

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  18. I want to give Matt some props right now. For being a nice guy, and for, presumably, having to deal with what might be the short end of this stick. And because I imagine myself reading the comments on my girlfriend's blog if she broke up with me and wanting to have someone give me some love too.

    I'm sorry. I'm feeling for both of you and I hope you two both bounce back to happiness quickly.

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