September 21, 2005

drunk girls write the darndest things

so! i'll finally get around to sharing the delightful weekend theboyfriend and i had in sce. (sce is airline shorthand for state college. state college takes WAY too long to type, and we've established my inability to distance myself from the airline city-code-dorkiness already, so just work with me here. sce. learn it. love it.)

we went to sce in the first place to visit my friend shannon and her husband bret, who got married last year. aren't they cute?

sce, as you may know, is also home to penn state university, which is very large and full of incredibely loyal and exuberant football fans. in fact, sce has the 3rd largest population in pennsylvania.... on game weekends. on other weekends, it doesn't actually break the top 10. HOWEVER, you should not take that, nor the 4-hour long drive through mountains and farmlands and general countryside which is required to arrive there, as evidence that state college might perhaps be "rural." oh no. it is NOT rural. nosireebob. i highly recommend NOT hinting at the potential ruralness of sce to, say, its inhabitants. take it from me.

among the totally not-rural activities for the weekend were checking out downtown (which we did during the game... which meant the entire area was like a ghost town, because literally every other inhabitant of the city was either in the stadium, tailgating outside the stadium, or glued to a tv set somewhere feverishly watching the outcome of the game). it's a bizarre phenomenon. and one of those things i feel like i missed out on by going to william and mary. there's a reason you've never heard of our football team. even as an actual undergrad there, i was hardly aware that we had a football team. our team played in this quaint little brick stadium that i was surprised to learn, when i googled it just now, seats 18,000 whole people. i would have hazarded about 3,000. maybe that's because that's roughly the most people who ever attended a w&m football game. but anyway, psu's stadium holds over 103,000. that's a lot.

but i digress. we ended up in a local bar that night where we watched a very interesting cover band called "giants of science." these were guys who covered 80s songs while decked out in lab coats and kiss-esque face paint. you can kiiiinda almost see it here:


meanwhile, shannon was trying to teach me the art of the downward-head-tilt for picture taking while we were at the bar. she says that everyone is more photogenic with their head tilted coyly down, like so:


which is definitely true for her, but totally makes me look like i have the schnoz of... um... well, someone with an enormous schnoz. it's alarming.


so while we were at this bar, i visited the ladies' room several times. and good lord if there wasn't more graffiti in this bathroom than i'd ever seen in my life. you had your regular "JANIE LOVES MIKE 4EVER! LOL! HEART!" and "KAPPA PHIs ARE SLUTS" and "BB + CF, BFF!!!!!".. but more drawings of ejaculating penises than i'm used to, as well as some really random stuff. like,

MONKEY IS CODE FOR VAGINA.

?? ok. whatever. i also saw "ladies: give more head" and, one of my favorites, this little gem:



i told shannon to come back with one the next time she paid the bathroom a visit. she complied, delivering us this interesting one:
when the moon shines full, the wolves talk dirty to us, like
they do to G. W. Bush.
riiiight.
delightful visit, all in all. stay tuned for a tale of shannon's wedding weekend + a very large formerly-abused doberman that the visit conjured back up... that will be the next post :-)

18 comments:

  1. This is not a judgement but every experience I have had with people from Penn State involves lost of alcohol and lots of funny things being said. I'm not kidding every one since 1991.

    And you Penn State people are pretty smart too.

    In the men's room it's the same graffiti except it's pictures of umm... in your words ... the "monkey".

    Seems the Amish have no influence in PA.

    ~Jef

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  2. I think the problem with that picture of you is not that you have the head-tilt wrong, but rather that there seems to be a person attached to your face by the tongue.

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  3. Looks like a nice schnozz to me. As for the tongue, can you crop it? ;)

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  4. nah, that's theboyfriend's tongue.. it's allowed to be there ;-)

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  5. That's pretty funny about the graffitti in the women's restroom, especially:

    when the moon shines full, the wolves talk dirty to us, like
    they do to G. W. Bush.

    It's sounds like a haiku to me.
    Anyway let me jump on the bandwagon everyone else is currently on; there's nothing wrong with your nose, schnauze, probiscus, whatever you want to call it. All joking aside, your nose looks fine, and there's no reason to crop out your boyfriends tongue, HOWEVER, how about you post your boyfriends tongue going up your nose? Would you allow it there? Now that could spawn some triple digit comments.

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  6. I ALWAYS tilt my head downward for photos...it's in my best interest to do so.

    Who knew women would write so much shit. If it weren't in a bar, I'd swear it was a bunch of 14 year olds trying to be bad asses. But I do love the "Sex" one...

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  7. I'm from wisconsin ( sad, i know ).. but a friend and i are HUGE college fb fans, so a couple of years ago, we drove out to PSU to see a game ( psu/virgina ). That was probably the drunkest weekend I've ever had.

    The bar that had the band playing... before/after the band played... did the bar do this goofy game where they pounded the table had had a 'chant' going where they challenged other tables? 'The First Base'? or something like that for a bar name?

    -Matt

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  8. it is very nice to know that women are very much as perverted with their grafitti as men are....

    Alice, that was a good picture of yourself. Now if you had the sense to crop out the tongue....

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  9. the tongue. I am personally pro-tongue.

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  10. I think the tilting of the head downward works. Good tip!! And I like the picture of you.

    And yes, it's interesting to see all the jibberish women will write on the restroom walls. Craziness!

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  11. you would crouching something....

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  12. is that the BF's tongue or some appetizer served at the bar? *L*...sounds like a REAL fun time

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  13. Reads (and looks) like a totally out of control time. Where do I sign up?

    Blake

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  14. So did you save a soul? lol

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  15. Usually when I tilt my head down, I look like I have about 5 chins.

    It's weird...I've lived in Pittsburgh all my life and have never gone to State College. But I went to IUP and partied enough there, so I didn't need to go anywhere else. And I partied in Punxsatawney. You haven't lived until you drink until the sun comes up, just waiting to see a giant rodent.

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  16. i just keep staring at the tongue...

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  17. Gosh, brings back GOOD memories of late college nights...and Mickey's Big Mouth...speaking of Big Mouth...of course I am going to mention the T O N G U E.

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  18. Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
    I have a **great** site/blog. It pretty much covers football reading related stuff.
    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

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